Why doesn’t FDS Focus on improving looks?
Every woman has been bombarded with images and messages about her body since birth. We know we don’t have to tell our subbies they need to groom themselves everyday, like the men seem to need to be told.
There are thousands of webpages dedicated to finding and fixing the most minuscule of physical flaws you can imagine, there’s no need to waste space on it here.
And Quite frankly, improving various aspects of your physical appearance is very much besides the point of using FDS. We don’t want to help you get into the practice of self loathing and never ending body criticism because it will hinder your level up progress.
So, Do looks matter for attracting a HVM?
Yes and no. Looking better and getting healthier effects your self esteem, which in turn will help you attract a HVM. But unfortunately, No matter how beautiful you look, the majority of men will still be and act like trash.
Changing your look may increase the quantity of men who are interested, but it will never effect the quality of men.
So what if you go all out to make yourself more attractive? Plastic Surgery? Expensive Extentions? Photoshop and Makeup Sorcery?
Well now you’ll have a bigger pool of shitty men to wade through, congratulations! And it’ll be full of men who are just as controlling, obsessive, entitled, disrespectful, violent and who have even more nefarious and covert motives as it was when you looked less conventionally attractive.
Sis, some of the most beautiful women in the world have experienced horrific abuse at the hands of men. Halle Berry, Nigella Lawson, Christina Applegate, Reese Witherspoon, Rihanna, are struggling with the same issues with men that you’re struggling with.
Chasing body perfection to rid yourself of the effects of cultural misogyny will never work. No woman on earth gets to be exempt from this.
So we don’t focus on looks because fixing the external appearance will never fix your problems with men. It will help you get more physically attractive men, if that is what you want, but it will say nothing of their character.
A man’s attractiveness or lack there of does not indicate what his behavior will be at all. Ugly and poor men cheat, use, and abuse women just the same as rich handsome ones. That ugly you guy you thought you were doing a favor can and will treat you worse than the man you thought was out of your league. It’s an utter crapshoot.
Which is why, we primarily focus on learning to value oneself at whatever position you are currently at in life and how to ruthlessly and unapologetically weed out men based on their behavior.
You could make all sorts of exceptions and compromises to get that man you think is oh-so-perfect only for him to utterly destroy your life and self esteem in ways that could take you years to recover. You could sacrifice your needs to support that struggling depressed man who just needs a little help and he will leave you for someone else when he recovers just the same.
Don’t focus on what he has or doesn’t have to decide how you will treat yourself.
Becoming a high value woman is not about what you look like, or what job you have, etc. It’s all about consistently practicing behaviors that demonstrate and increase your love and respect for yourself, whatever that is for you.
If wearing makeup makes you feel like a warrior putting on her warpaint, then wear it. If you feel like a silly clown with it on and feel there are more interesting things to do, then don’t. Discover what it means to be beautiful to yourself, and that is all you will ever need!
The sad thing was that I was watching this show and it's about this overweight, geeky, unpopular, high school girl who was pretty much secure with herself, and she didn't care much about getting male attention or getting a boyfriend, but she did have huge crushes on fictional male characters who are way more attractive and better than real life men. However, there was 4 main guy characters in her high school. While she was overweight, 3 of the guy characters basically treated her like garbage, while that 1 guy (forgot his name) was the ONLY decent guy in the show who treated her like a human with kindness and respect despite her being overweight. This guy is basically the…
yeah I think some people misunderstand what being HV means. It doesn’t mean being beautiful and successful. It means being happy and having inner peace. If you’re rich and hot, but also depressed and hate yourself, you’re LV compared to an unemployed, unattractive person who is happy.
Thank you for this. Even though I’m pretty confident with most of my life, I still wonder if I looked more conventionally attractive if things would be better. After I lost a bunch of weight a few years ago, I could see the attention I was getting changed dramatically and it really grossed me out. So from my perspective, what you say is true. I appreciated this reminder that while it’s good to focus on oneself for self-esteem purposes and because it’s good for me, it should not be a factor in how i think about men
I understand, start with your thoughts and strategize. Working on looks, leveling up on the outer layer is important but should develop in tandem or after you've attacked mental/trauma blocks. A new wardrobe and boob job won't fix inner problems or circular dating issues, I know this from personal experience sadly. I unpacked and sorted moldy mental baggage and became confident. It was a rebirth really, and now, everything has fallen into place!
This is so true, I wish more women who are in a relationship or married would be comfortable having attractive friends. Ive been guilty of it too in the past. The truth is, you can be a 10 with friends that men would judge as a 6, or 3 even and unfortinately some get blindsided when they cheat with the 6 or 3 "friends". Men are predators and know those wonen are more vulnerable and easier targets. She gets a huge ego boost that he (married to a 10) would "desire" her. Meanwhile being a 10 it never crosses your mind and your radar is off. It's never really looks, the end goal is power and domination. For LVM deciet…