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Time for another NOs category! This one will obviously have people with differing opinions, so I'd like to encourage everyone to use this post to reflect on your personal values to make vetting easier for yourself.
People I won't date for political reasons:
conservatives, republicans, libertarians, anarchists
homophobes, transphobes (ie someone who wishes they'd all be killed or is bizarrely obsessed with trans people etc. are you obsessed with exterminating any other minority groups or are you just bandwagoning an issue where violence has little if any consequences?), xenophobes, racists
neoliberals, moderates, centrists, the "non-political"
white supremacists, nazis/fascists
billionaires, bank/financial execs, hedge fund workers
politicians, with rare exceptions
If I had to politically label myself I'd say I'm a progressive with secular humanist values. No worries if you aren't the same! Like I said, use this post to brainstorm your own list for vetting purposes.
Previous categories of undateables:
Next up, undateables for feminist reasons 👸
I need someone who understands that the personal is political, which doesn't mean we have to be ideologically "perfect" all the time, but just acknowledge that our ways of living are influenced by the currently dominant ideologies (patriarchy, racism, speciesism, capitalism) and that nothing exists in a vacuum. I hate people who think they're above politics and somehow unaffected by them. I want people to have an opinion on things, but not believe that they are infallible and that everyone else on the political spectrum (who's not an extremist) is wrong. I need someone who is empathetic, open-minded and humble about their beliefs and doesn't just care about issues that directly affect them. Someone who is able to have a decent and respectful discussion. Someone who can articulate their views thoughtfully. If all that is the case, 100% alignment on every issue becomes less important. However, obviously I wouldn't date anyone who is an overt homophobe, racist or misogynist. I mostly can't deal with neoliberals and conservatives either, but leftist men also regularly disappoint me.
I won’t date men who support trans people. Men who support trans people tend to be very out of touch with middle class & poor women, perverts or dumb.
Other hard no’s: pro life, anti union, doesn’t believe in voting, performative feminism, conservatives, anti gun control, anti immigrant, thinks facts are debatable (i.e. earth is flat, vaccines cause autism) etc. I’m sure I’ll think of more later lol.
Decidedly single forever, but if I were vetting, I would look out for anyone who makes politics (in general) the mainstay of who they are. I personally believe, regarding politics and religion, the "our team is good, the other team is evil" attitude to be harmful.
I would never date:
Trans women are women types
Anti-Union
Anti-Universal Healthcare
Anyone who uses the term Latinx unironically
Anarchists
Terminology will vary from country but my standard is to have a passing understanding of our system, an acknowledgment that it is patriarchal and a basic understanding of science (ie. xx chromosomes differ from xy chromosomes and this is unrelated to feelings).
Conservative women and men who are used to authority figures acting reasonable and logical, vote (or don't vote at all, which is the same as a vote against) against the rights of themselves and others based on the belief that they will be able to negotiate an exception for themselves only.
Being “”moderate”” or “”centrist”” is having enough privilege to be able to ignore injustice, women's rights and other abortion restrictions….unless of course their own life is threatened by an incomplete miscarriage or an ectopic pregnancy then being forced to go sceptic and die is a huge miscarriage of justice…which is why all those articles of “pro-life” women hit the front pages of newspapers. The indignity of being treated like one of the poors, threatening their conservative ‘I’m Special and Worth Saving,’ ideals.
This same 'I'm Special' attitude plays out with Universal Health Care, Social Services like unemployment insurance, Education Funding.....I am with you and 💯 done tolerating “moderate” nonsense. In this day and age, you can either be a decent human being or a republican, there are no other options.
There is no discussion of risking dating or being friends with terrible humans.
My big issue is anyone with extreme political opinions. I especially don't like people who try to force their opinions onto others and people who go on and on about politics when it wasn't even relevant to the conversation.
I usually avoid religious people (as boyfriends or friends) because their views tend not to align with mine. They tend to be pro-life (which I am not), much more conservative than I am and they tend to judge me because I don't have a good relationship with my parents. (I won't bore you with the details but my parents are quite domineering. They're the kind of people who will walk all over you if you don't stand up to them). I'm not saying religious people are bad people, just that they're not compatible with me.
I also don't like people who are too naive and trusting with regard to authority figures. I'm not advocating being cynical but it is a fact that some authority figures are corrupt and I can't stand people who pretend that this is not true.
With regard to my own political opinions, I have some views that are socialist. I believe in universal healthcare and free education, including third level, for all. I have other views that are more conservative. I believe that the social welfare system in my country needs to be reviewed. Far too many people think it's acceptable to leave school, go straight on social welfare and not even try to get a job. I disagree with this. I believe that we live in a society and all adults should strive to be productive and pay taxes. These are just my own personal beliefs. It's perfectly ok if people here don't share them.
I will absolutely not date anyone who is not a right-wing libertarian.
I find all liberals (Democrats) and all conservatives (Republicans) despicable on a romantic level. I've felt this way my entire adult life, possibly for longer, and I am in my late 30s.