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Surprise, a day early!
This category is slightly less "no" than the "fuck no/criminal" level, but is still a pretty firm "no" because if we disagree over what the facts of reality are, we are not compatible. I have a separate category for political reasons so I don't consider political opinions here (and a category for feminism which covers manosphere/misogynist beliefs).
Let's round 'em up:
conspiracy theorists, Q etc
proudly ignorant, anti-intellectuals/anti-education
science deniers, climate change deniers etc
anti-vaccination, anti-allopathic medicine
uneducated, unrefined, low emotional IQ
individualists, determinists, solipsists
Where are some areas you've seen people detached from reality? It's amazing when you can see how someone operating from a completely different paradigm understands life so differently. All I know is I don't have the time/energy to rescue people who are lost.
Previous categories of undateables:
I avoid dating men from countries where the women don't have equal human rights. No matter how liberal or western they claim to be the differences show in everyday interactions. Dated someone for a bit and the little things that came up were just not compatible with me and my core beliefs.
Two big ones for me:
1) those who just won't exercise empathy and sympathy for women's different lived experience which also indicates close-mindedness and lack of imagination; and 2) those who are non-reciprocal and non-mutual; everything is all about them, or they think they're the "leader" or they think a woman is an adjunct, not a partner.
- highly religious men
- highly educated assholes who lack EQ
- those against education
- conspiracy theorists
- anti vaxxers
- both extremes of gym bros and unhealthy lazy bums. Both of these categories live in different realities lol
Men who think they’re more, or equally oppressed as women. I never cease to be appalled even though I’m starting to wonder if any of them don’t think this.
I ramble too much so I’ll condense to two:
* Any man who watches the video of Steven Crowder abusing his wife and “doesn’t see anything wrong here.”
* Men with the philosophy that “hard work” solves all problems and anyone who needs help or made a bad choice deserves no sympathy or assistance. They just need to work harder. 🙄
Men who are into the military. Strangely, plenty of these men aren’t IN the military themselves, they just…really fucking like the military? They’ll defend the military to no end and are incapable of seeing the many, many issues with the military, especially for women, POC, disadvantaged groups, etc. And of course, I’d never date a man who is actually in the military.
Men who are religious or come from religious families.
Men who like terrible male comedians. I know this one seems like it’s not at the same level at some of the ones you listed, but someone’s sense of humor does indicate what beliefs a person holds. Basically, if he’s laughing to rape jokes, run.
What it boils down to, for me, is an un-disciplined man. I’m talking about self-discipline obviously. When this quality lacks in a man it’s problematic for a number of reasons. It manifests in laziness, porn sickness, dirtiness, rudeness, unfaithfulness.
Firm no:
- vegan/vegetarian
- virgin
- believes in astrology
- bad teeth
- has female friends
- keeps in touch with ex-girlfriends
- previously engaged or married
- has children
- unwilling to shave or trim his pubic area
- 50/50 or any form of splitting the bill on a date
Religious fundamentalists/absolutists, or even militant atheists
A naive man. Someone who really believes that as long as you’re positive good things just fall in your lap. This is the type of man who’s had everything given to them and believes that he can just Forrest Gump his way through life and end up with everything he ever wanted.
It doesn't matter what the philosophy is--anyone with "extreme" views, who bangs on about them or "lives" them to a point where it inconveniences me or means I am not being treated like a Queen. And double if they don't accept my views. It's OK to have different views, but they need to happily and quietly coexist with mine.
Some I haven't already seen listed:
-hipster
-artist
-musician
-rich boy who's had everything handed to him in life
-never had to work for anything
-never had to do anything for himself
-has no interest in the world outside of himself
Extremely superstitious and religious men.
Insta no:
A man who has no social skills.
A man who complains about a woman lying.
A man who says his ex is crazy. Why? most of the time his ex isn't crazy, he's just a dick. But on the rare occasion his ex is crazy, I don't want to be around anyway. The truly crazy ex never lets go and can be a serious problem.
A man that diverts the conversationt to sex quickly.
A man that initiates a conversation about violence against women or children unprovoked by any external circumstances or immediate personal connection soon after meeting. This is a trick. They are fishing for informationt o manipulate you with later.
A man that has minor or young adult children he doesn't prioritize.
There's a long list. I'm not even aware of all of them until they happen.
This might seem odd but men that come from wealthy old money families. Someone that was raised lower to upper middle class that becomes very wealthy fine. But someone that grew up where money wasn't something they ever had to think of? Nah.
Political extremes, intellectual inflexibility
Meat eaters
Transactional thinking, values people only for what they can give him
Describes himself as "rational" and thinks emotions are inconvenient or stupid
Loves to "debate", play devil's advocate, etc.
Conspiracy theorist, especially the kind that thinks women secretly rule everything because they can withhold sex
Capitalism apologists ("yoU JuSt neEd TO wOrK haRd"), against social security
Violent and toxic "dude" hobbies like hunting, fishing, extreme sport
Too spiritual – I don't have anything against a faith per se, but it shouldn't dominate their lives and they can't try to make me adhere to their religion's
Doesn't believe in personal responsibility – I'm not too sure that free will exists either but we at least have to act like it does
Doesn't clearly distance himself from sexists and fuckboys, "live and let live" mindset
Limited horizon – this can go both ways. Either an entitled kid who has never left their highly academic bubble/ivory tower or the extremely rural type who has never seen anything outside of his home town
The men who equate my past trauma or cautiousness in dating to still being hung up on an ex.
I recently spoke to a man who believed his ex was mutually abusive because she was upset he wasn’t making enough money and he was physically threatening her when she brought it up.