What personality/looks standards do you have for your partners?

I could write a book about my ideal HVM personality, but looks seem more fun right now 💁‍♀️

• Dark hair and eyes

• Olive/tan skin

• Kind eyes

• Radiant smile

• Slim and fit physique

• Full head of hair

• Not much body hair

• Clear, soft, smooth skin

• Clean-shaven or stubble, no major facial hair

• Shapely hands with a firm grip

• At least medium height (5’8”+) - no short kings

• Well-endowed and is easily aroused by me

• Deeper, melodic voice

• Relatively soft-spoken

• Attractive laugh, laughs often

🖤

would like to add:

i’m fit, and he should be too. not juicing, but athletic. broad and mesomorphic tends to appeal to me more than ecto-or endomorphic.

tall is great, 5’11.5” or taller, probably not taller than 6’6”.

honestly, i’m drawn to green or blue eyes like no other, but i’m not particular about the color, as long as they are kind.

intelligence is key, but not arrogance. i have a weird way of trying too hard to impress people with my cognition and language sometimes, so i definitely need to work on this. and i can only take so much sarcasm.

i don’t mind if he isn’t warm and bubbly, but he has to have the capacity for gentleness, especially towards living things smaller than him.

i do prefer clean and somewhat polished, though a beard and some body hair (not too hairy) are fine.

i love when a man has surprising passions like growing an herb garden or collecting cool cycling jerseys. especially if he looks like a bit of a bruiser otherwise.

basically i want a mix of all of my previous exes, within roughly 3 years of my age (applying or separating).

he should be able to read a room. loves animals, environmentally aware, both regarding ecology and the literal space he occupies. he needs to understand his political roots and be working to unlearn conditioning that benefits him at the cost of others’ lives, freedoms and health outcomes. and he needs to be a planner.

Inner beauty makes any man more attractive but that doesn't mean he should neglect his outer appearance, he needs to be representable any time and smell good. Be clean such as shower everyday and not sprinkle some water on him but use soap under the arms, wash his junk and ass crack daily. Deodorant and never wear the same outfit twice. I prefer a man to shower two times a day. And he can keep the dermatology studies that skipping showers is good to himself because skipping showers disgusts me.

To avoid a whole list about how he should be I'll keep it brief.

Respect is number 1. Anything he says or do should always come from a place of respect.

Moody, uncivil behavior is not something I'll tolerate. Men can't be themselves in my presence.

You either behave excellent or leave.

I'm not your mommy so I will not tolerate your bad side or your flaws, your tantrums I expect excellence in his appearance and his manners.

PERSONALITY: Never comments on random strangers we see. My dad has done that my whole life (surprise surprise, to majority women) and I'm only now seeing how toxic that is. (Ironically, from a yt comment I saw literally yesterday about someone describing their mom who is the same way.) It could be a gas station, grocery store, news reporter, vacation place whatever and he will always say that this guy has a weird haircut, that store clerk has a strange way of speaking, this lady is fat, etc. It's giving bullying and caring too much about random stranger's lives. I realized that I've been subconsciously diverting him from it by pointing out a sheep in the distance or just making small talk about the subject at hand. Its rubbed off on me, and I even catch myself thinking these things too!

Obviously he has never done similar to me and this has never affected my self esteem in any way😄🤪🫶

- Kind

- Generous

- Hardworking

- Funny

- Attractive to me- but doesn’t have to be standard looks and not too good looking, those guys are rare/sus

- Intelligent (at least as intelligent as I am, with a wide vocabulary)

- Non-religious, but can be spiritual leaning (but not too far!)

- Reads books/has been known to read books

-Believes in women’s rights (inc right to choose)

- not an addict

- some musical tastes in common helps

- doesn’t smell bad! Has to have good dental hygiene, clean clothes, daily showers

- employed and employable

- no mental health issues, I have my own and don’t need someone else’s 😂

- strong and capable

NO PORN

As many of you know, I’m married and much of this made up my list before we got together.

If I’d thought more about it, I’d have added COOKING to the list. Husband can do the very basics, but I do all the cooking. But he works for himself and has the children with him a lot.

I would say my type is a classically handsome, clean cut man. Which includes:

-Taller than me

-Good hygiene

-Healthy weight

-No balding or thinning hair (I’m just not attracted to it 🤷‍♀️)

-No beards

-No weak ass recessed jaw or super short chin

-No piercings

-No unibrow

-No large moles or warts

-Nice nose

1. Fit, cause I like fit men and I also love sports

2. No balding too... especially men around my age.

3. Mostly eats healthy. Can cook healthy food and tries to have a healthy diet

4. No alcoholics or addicts of ANY kind. I do like my occasional drinks but I pay close attention to the amount of times I go out drinking and stuff, I expect the same from my partner

Looks-wise, I'm very small so I don't care about height, and would probably prefer someone under 6 foot. I'm over the age of 40 so balding is unfortunately a reality for men 😂, but he either has a full head of hair, or is completely bald - unsightly bald patches are a no-no. I won't date anyone who is obese, or very fat or even average fat. I would prefer a hairy chest to a hairless one, but it's not a deal breaker. Not sure if this is hygiene or looks, but bad breath is an immediate turn-off, no matter how lovely he is or how handsome. Same goes for BO. The only tattoos he has are ones that he got during his foolhardy youth, and aren't visible when he's fully clothed.

As for personality, this is hard, because I like guys who are active, fun and confident, but so many of these types of men are players. He is capable of looking after my wellbeing and comfort so that means he's kind and thoughtful, but also proactive and assertive. He's not timid; timidity gets on my nerves.

He loves animals, has compassion and isn't materialistic and hungry for money. He is not sexist or misogynistic but isn't really aware of it - it's just his nature, he doesn't have to try.

He has lived overseas so is worldly, and is well educated and intelligent, because I am all of these things and am bored with someone who isn't.

Personality wise

Moral compass for sure, with values similar to my own. Understands which groups are minority, speaks against misogyny, animal cruelty etc.

Good texter, always responds to messages and in a timely manner. No one word responses or juvenile text speak like "wyd".

I'm with you OP on atheist. If they have a faith chances are they are very different from me.

Genuinely kind and sensitive, respectful to everyone. Kindness is so attractive, should be number one on the list. Doesn't make jokes at other peoples expense.

Maturity and classiness

Growth mindset, always knows what goals to work towards, what needs to improve etc.

I love a nerd, an intelligent person who will research topics deeply and have interesting conversations.

Has a calming and comforting presence, I have much anxiety so someone who amplifies it would not be a good match.

Wants to explore new places, his dreams and ambitions similar to myself, not stubborn and unadventurous, I want someone to take me to places that ill love. Will give me pleasant surprises.

Hard working and puts effort into every aspect of life.

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Appearance wise (if they don't meet these i will likely not be attracted to them in the first place)

I prefer dark hair but its not a must

Height of 5.9 or above, it would feel weird having a man smaller than me. They do not necessarily have to be 6.5 or something crazy, even just a little taller than me is attractive (I'm 5.7 for the record).

Not morbidly obese and definitely not skinny! I really do not find skinniness attractive, I love the "dad bod" as it looks more masculine and attractive to me personality. As long as they don't have a spherical beer belly. I dont like the skinny, hyper muscular appearance either, like skinny but with abs.

Dresses well, I will never be attracted to a man who goes out wearing grey sweatpants, eccentric fashion sense or dirty looking clothes

Hair on their head and preferably a beard, don't really like the bald look especially at a young age (before 40).

Feel shallow saying this but, not an ugly face, a fairly attractive face

Not too much tattoos to the point its covering most of their body parts

I’m not going to lie and say looks don’t matter to me because they do, but generally speaking if someone has most of their hair (bald looks good on some men though), pretty nice teeth, and isn’t severely overweight I can find them attractive as long as they have the type of personality and values I’m looking for. These are probably my top five, in no particular order.

* Similar values.

* Financial stability and responsibility. This includes not living with parents past 30. If they’re taking care of them that’s admirable, but I’m looking for someone who is available to make being a husband (and possibly father) their first priority, as I would do the same for them.

* Laid-back, somewhat serious personality. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a sense of humor; just means he’s more of a “straight man” and doesn’t try to be funny all the time. I’m probably in the minority but a goofy/bubbly personality just turns me off because that’s my personality and I like men who are opposite to me. I like to be the funny one. 😅

* MUST have a masculine voice. Probably my #1 absolute dealbreaker is a man with a voice that reads as feminine to me. I just can’t get over it.

* Doesn’t lie or manipulate in any way.

In addition,

Kind and respectful towards senior citizens, children and women

Gentlemanly and chivalrous - but not the pompous kind, the innate and genuine kind.