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I read a lot of stories about women complaining about their partner's flaws that they showed when they first met or in the early days of dating. These two stories below will show how the first interactions with a man will tell you everything about him:
One of my friends told me about how a guy she had started to like was unfriendly to her when they first met. They lived in the same apartment block and one day, while talking to a neighbour (a lady), the guy walked passed my friend and her neighbour. He knew her neighbour but walked passed her and my friend before the neighbour called out to say hello to him. He turned back looking annoyed and said hello before walking off in a hurry, completely ignoring my friend.
Another time, he, my friend, this neighbour and other people who live on their floor all went to dinner. They had all become friendly from seeing each other daily and decided to have a group dinner. My friend told me how this guy had offered to pay for everyone's meal so she thanked him for being a gentleman. She told me how he seemed annoyed that she had thanked him and responded by telling her that he was a gentleman who always offers to pay so he didn't see why she was thanking him. My friend made the error of spending more time with this guy and eventually started liking him. He had a girlfriend that lived in another country that he told my friend about but that didn't stop him from spending time flirting with my friend and cuddling in bed with her while watching movies. After kissing her one of the times they watched a movie, he seemed to have a meltdown over their age difference (he was just 3 years older) and how busy he was with starting a company, ending his rant about how they'd never work as a couple. Soon after this, he started to avoid hanging out with her or texting and calling until he fully ghosted her and moved out of his apartment. She's not heard from him since.
A singer in the UK called Cheryl Cole revealed after her divorce to the ex-soccer player, Ashley Cole, that while inside her apartment block, outside her apartment door, she was bending down to pick up mail at her door when Ashley walked passed her and said "Hey hot lips! Nice ass"". Now some people may feel that his comment was tame and not offensive at all but we all know that no gentleman that respects a woman will ever say this. Even if he finds a woman attractive, his respect for her and for himself (him not wanting to look like a perv) will result in him giving her a wholesome/respectful compliment. Ashley went on to cheat multiple times on Cheryl pushing her to divorce him. She was reported to be heartbroken at his level of infidelity.
Men who show blaring red flags the first time you meet them will not get better; they will only get worse. If a man's first-time comment to you is something suggestive, he does not and will not respect you. If a man can ignore or be rude to you the first time he meets you, he has no and will never have any interest in you. Men don't change for the better or change their opinions of you. They are what they are.
Men are on their best behaviour when you first meet them. If they’re crass and vulgar initially, that is them doing their best. It's not going to get better from there, and you sure as shit cannot change him.
It's like that Chris Rock bit: “when you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them, you're meeting their representative.”
I always say small things predicts the future, If he forgets your birthday or any day that means something to you then he doesn't value you. Make excuses all you want pickme's but it's the truth. Men don't forget the release date of the new game they want, They don't arrive late when they know they will have sex, they don't forget the date of their bro's coming to town to hang out. But if they forget the date that means something to you then it says enough. In the long run they will forget your birthday and even go out of their way to give you nothing. Because you tolerated crumbs in the beginning and he expects you to have no expectations in the long run.
Women don't be like little girls and expect men to give you everything, Never forsake your career, it's your life raft, Having men in your life is like going on a sinking ship. Don't forsake your life raft. Have your own money so that you can buy your own gifts if he won't, and make it clear that you don't want a man who doesn't get you anything. Wanting birthday presents or Christmas presents is not childish, wanting to be cherished is not childish. It's human nature.
I believe in personal growth. But this does not happen if you don’t pursue it. Or if that is something that you do not value. I met my ex-husband when he was 20, he is now 36, (we’re divorced), he is 100% the same person. I used to think of him as stable and consistent. But nah… he is just fucking lazy and have no respect for me or women I general. It’s a value problem, and a attitude problem.
When the guy I was dating lied to me about something within the first few weeks I knew it was over. I don't tolerate lying and if he does it in the beginning he'll do it even more when he's comfortable.
Yeah. The first sign of disrespect is your chance to gtfo quickly before it turns serious. Luckily LVM issue lots of warnings (mostly without meaning to) beforehand, so it's just on us to react appropriately. With that said, my partner is one of the few men I've met whom I wouldn't want to change (aside from general personal development that's of course driven by his own goals). It's a cliché that women get with men in the hopes that he will start to act better/differently over time, as in they fall in love with potential. That's what society taught us. So a better sign is hoping he doesn't change.