Vetting a Man Through his Pets

Agreed. A man who can't take care of, value and have empathy with his pet - a creature that is fully dependent on him - (and that includes not having a pet or rehoming a pet when you can't properly provide for it) will not suddenly become a better person around you or your potential children. If he already fails to protect and provide for an animal or a houseplant, he will 100% fail to provide for you.

Also beware of men who clearly have certain pets to show off, be controversial or look cool and "manly". Examples would be attack dogs (the breeds can be wonderful dogs if trained properly, what I mean are the big, aggressive, poorly trained "penis extension" dogs), exotic pets he doesn't keep properly and treats like an accessory without needs or feelings (often happens with exotic birds, reptiles etc.) or pets he keeps for the "shock value" while seemingly enjoying to scare or disgust people with them (like keeping huge spiders or feeding his snake a living mouse in front of you).

I very much agree that this can be a good vetting strategy, but there will be exceptions. The most nasty abusive man I dated had two cats he loved and spoiled rotten. If he treats his pet better than you, it’s also a red flag.

I firmly believe that If a man neglects his pets he'll neglect his children. It's a small glimpse of how he'll treat the ones dependent on him. So be quiet and see how he treats them. I have a male family member and he denies other dogs their food but give the new pup everything because it's a puppy and his favorite. So far he never managed to stay with one woman. Like a bee He hops from flower to flower. Having a child that you like more doesn't make you a bad parent but treating your favorite better makes you one. I like some children more than others yes but my respect for them is on equal ground. I don't care about being loved or liked respect is all I care about.

Growing up the men or the pickme girls are the families favorite, If you have a mind of your own and you're not submissive you are treated as the black sheep. So I know what it's like to be obscured by the golden children who are absolute garbage.

I had an ex "boyfriend" who had a pitbull in a 600 sq ft apartment. And he was in construction and worked 10-12 hour days and sometimes weekends as well. The poor girl sat on the couch all day by the door waiting for him. He just had huge puppy pads everywhere. She wasn't fixed also and when she was in heat she would just bleed everywhere. And a lot of times he would get high and fall asleep and forget to feed her.

He was a sick, sick asshole. I also thought it was weird that they regularly bathed together.

I'll put it this way: you can be a good pet owner and a bad parent. But you can't be a bad pet owner and a good parent.

If u can't put out a bowl of food and water twice a day, how the hell are you going to handle a freaking baby? Also some of these comments, (haven't read them yet but I can already tell) are going to be describing criminal neglect.

Oh my god, this was true of BOTH the guys I had a relationship with. First one kept a pretty neat house, but his dog would piss everywhere when she got excited. The second one had a cat but his place was filthy.

I have a pet myself (a cat, I love him, lol) and while it does take some work when you have a dog/cat, it's something you need to at least do for YOURSELF, so you should be able to handle it with another little animal, no? I also have houseplants and it's pretty basic to take care of them.

Remember that if you are thinking of having children and sharing the responsibility with a male, it's probably mostly going to fall on you anyway. It pretty much always does. And if he can't take care of a little animal, plant, or even himself, he sure as hell ain't going to help you, or you AND a child.

There are homeless men out there who have dogs.

Yep. If a man can't even keep his dog groomed and fed, I definitely don't trust him to take care of a child. I also vet men by looking at their car and house/apartment. Can he keep it clean and at least decently maintained? If not, I'm not creating a family with him.

I agree with this. My ex had a love/hate relationship with his cat. He would send me Snapchat videos of him waking her up from naps and disrupting her peace. The most painful one I’ve received is when he spun her on an office chair and she almost fell off. I almost started crying. In the times when she would be woken up by his bullshit, her ears would flatten—which I know to be a sign that her boundaries have been disrespected and that she was scared. When I told him that, he’s like nah it’s just a muscle spasm I was like lmfao uh.

The cat is technically his older brothers but, since they all lived in the family house, I think of her as the families cat, so everyone has to contribute. My ex noticed some bald patches on her, and they were red as if she’s been picking at it. I was looking at stuff to help relieve her pain, and even suggested he take her to the vet. He wasn’t working during that time, so I guess he didn’t have the money, but it’s still bull shit. I took matters into my own hands and I went to PETCO to ask if there’s anything over the counter I can purchase so that she could be okay. The worker recommended a spray to put in the area to calm it down. When I told my ex about it, he never responded so I ended up having to return the item. Even if he couldn’t take her to the vet, at least get SOMETHING to relieve her pain, even if it’s from a pet store.

There are times when she does sleep on him during the night, and some other times she sleeps on his older brother. My ex would be affectionate with her but it breaks my heart because sometimes she would urinate outside of her litter box too :( she’s such a beautiful tabby cat with green eyes.