valuable lessons I've learned from FDS in recent weeks

Yep! A dude who has any female friends immediately block and delete lmao. All that's signaling on a biological level is that he's not available. Just like how I don't want random dudes or males around me when I go out because that signals to other guys I'm on a date or taken..exactly what these scrotes are doing. The last one I got rid of they even had keys to his house and were running in and out while I was over there. Of course he brought up the idea of poly to me 🤢

Absolutely. My ex said he had to break up with his ex because she went on a trip with another guy and put those pictures all over facebook. However, when we dated he went on an international trip for 3 weeks alone with a female friend. I met her, and he even asked me how I felt about it beforehand. We were very new to dating, so I said it would definitely be uncomfortable but I'm not going to control him or tell him he can't do his favorite thing which is travel. I asked him how he would feel if the roles were reversed and he said he would be uncomfortable which is why he was asking. So apparently it's okay for him to go off to other countries and share hotel rooms with female friends, but not okay for the woman to do the same? And if she has any kind of problem it's her problem?

His level of hypocrisy astounds me.

I agree. It bothers me that even on this forum, I have been called "insecure" for not accepting a man's "female friends". The gaslighting needs to stop.

That guy friend of 10 yrs is not your real and true friend if he’s treating you this way and gaslighting you. Men defend male abusers every day.