Validation from comedian on why we don't share past trauma with men

Yep learned it the hard way. scrotes use every info you tell them against you. If you tell them you're afraid of something, they do the exact same thing to control you. if you tell them you've been abused, they know they can abuse you too. if you tell them you feel like a bad person, he would bring it up during arguments. If you tell scrotes your parents are controlling, they would start calling you controlling when you hold him responsible.

Do not tell men your trauma/insecurity/past nightmares. Actually, don't tell men anything.

I can see the opposite end of the spectrum being exploited by abusers too.

If a woman was sheltered, protected and has never been through anything bad they’ll see her as a “fresh meat” target thats easier to manipulate because the woman is more likely to see the best in people or be more naive to red flags because shes never witnessed the patterns.

This is why criminals in prisons often seek out inmates that are “green” as they call it. They’re seen as targets that are easier to control and manipulate.

“Green” definition

(Basically privileged people that don’t have street smarts and got sent to prison over a drunk driving accident or something) Criminals in prison sniff these kinds of people out by strategically provoking them to see how they respond or asking strategically placed questions.

A sheltered woman that’s never been through any trauma in her life is much more likely to have a freeze response if they’re assaulted because they’ve never experienced that before and will be in shock.

A lot of the woman that I knew that had very happy childhoods/teen years grew up to marry some very abusive men.

There are several things that I’ve found that will protect a woman from abusive men.

1. Always be skeptical. Don’t be afraid to ask a lot of questions. See if he gets defensive. Recognize his behavior patterns. If you notice his actions don’t align with his words or his behaviors don’t make much sense then he most definitely has bad intentions.

2. Tell a man no and analyze how he responds. (His mask will start to slip a bit then. Even when you’re first starting to get to know him)

3. If you’re getting to know a man first impressions are important. If he disrespects you (even in a minor way like putting his shoes on your furniture or if he moves your stuff without asking you) then say something. Predators often do these subtle things deliberately to gauge whether or not you’ll put up a fight. They might also use this as a form of gradual desensitization. (Grooming)

4. Never turn around on a man or face your back to him. Never let him be out of your field of vision. If you have to get away then walk sideways or back up. (While making sure theres no second person helping him) The first physical assault is usually from behind and surprise. Most men will usually change their minds once they realize they can’t catch you by surprise. (This includes Ted Bundy) Even if they don’t decide to change their minds you’ll still be at a better advantage if you see it coming.

5. Learn how to fight and use a weapon properly. Men may have the size and strength advantage but they’re not immune to injury or pain. Men are not invincible. If you cause enough pain to a man he’s very likely to freak out and back off. Predators have strong self preservation instincts. They don’t want to continue attacking prey that’s hurting them.

6. Never allow yourself to be financially dependent on a man. Always have a safety net or escape plan before moving in with him. Ex: A savings account that he doesn’t know about or a family member you can stay with ect.

I'd also like to add, don't post all the details of your past relationships or emotional trauma or struggles with mental illness on social media. Yeah, it's a good way to get support, but people talk. It will hurt your reputation. And if you're adding guys you're dating to your social media, they will see all of that before they even get to know you in real life, so it will lead to a false sense of emotional intimacy. Not to mention it will give them tons of ammo for arguments later. Just don't do it.

The less info you provide men with, the better.