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I was reading this thread about what kind of stereotypes we know to be true about men of different countries (I recommend the thread, check it out)
When I commented about Scandinavia, where I was born and live, some of you were surprised to hear something bad about scandinavian men.
I get that Scandinavia is used as an example to follow. We have been indoctrinated to believe that we have the same opportunities as men, and some of us have been drinking the Kool Aid, and actually tried to be like men.
I have been faced with reality these last couple of years, as a single woman, trying to navigate the dating scene here, and also navigating the justice system because of custody battle, and let me tell you, I has been disappointing and eye opening!
I wanted to share my perception with you so I can tell you all wounderful women of the world: NEVER STOP VETTING AND STAY SAFE!
There is no country in this entire world that's an utopia for us women. Not "over there" in Iran, but still not here in Scandinavia. Me may have less problems, and have more rights, for sure, but that doesn't mean men don't benefit from misoginy here too. Please never forget that. Even if they seem high value, don't give them slack just because they are from a more "CIviLiZeD CuLTurE". Because, sadly, when it comes to how men view women, there's no such thing.
*disclaimer: If you look at the cases you will notice that a large number of perpetrators were non-ethnically scandinavians. A lot of people would use this as an argument to say that ethnically-white scandinavians don't commit murder against a partner (Femicide) BUT the ethnically scandinavian men are still the mayority of men commiting these murders.
**Edit: and just like that I knew this disclaimer would be necessary. If you just lay the blame in "other cultures" you are just ignoring the fact that this is a universal problem, not a cultural one, hence why I called it a "blindspot"
Denmark: "74% of all partner homicides affect women"
I haven't included Finland and Iceland because: 1) if I include Finland, statistics will blow of the chart, like seriously, finnish men are known for being very violent 2) I can't read the languages properly to give my opinion 3) Norway, Denmark and Sweden are countries that have more in common, culturally and ethnically speaking.
As a fellow scandinavian woman (and sociologist) I can only confirm. (And as a add on, pretty much all women here think we are totally equal because we are oh so 'civilized', which make it difficuelt to gain momentum regarding womens rights. And it's almost impossible to be invited on a legit date - 1) scandinivian men don't know how to flirt / initiate dates (also due to the fact that we are ToTAaLLy eQual, so women should invite them out) 2) if they actually do invite, it's seen as a hang-out trial kind of thing and you shouldn't expect them to pay - if they pay the first round of something low effort (a beer, a coffee) - you are expected to go and get the next round.... I know as a fact, I used to be a massive pick-me :) )
Hi girl. Sorry about my earlier reply. I forgot sth important I learnt in psych. Please note that I trust your judgement so if Scandinavian men are the issue, not dating them would be a good solution. Other cultures might be misunderstood by me so just try those men! They might value you more than the ones you talked about. Don't let anyone derail you from dating people from foreign cultures out of fear.