Edit: Also goes to show that men know exactly what they are doing when they try to lowball you, they are just hoping you won't notice. Don't try to make excuses for them, just cut them off.
This is a great example of when WE think of coffee dates (or at least I used to in the past) it's totally different than what men think of them. I had always thought it was a low-anxiety way of starting to get to know someone (with the expectation that we'd get dinner if it went well). But men clearly see it as a slam-dunk of low effort. Since I've given up dating I don't worry about it anymore but if I ever find someone I am actually interested in, I will expect dinner or something first. No low effort, no low anxiety for him. I want him to be anxious to be near me because I'm fucking worth it.
A prime example of men preying upon our empathy and the fact that we aren't fucking sociopaths like they are. Fuck them.
I don't even do coffee dates with my girlfriends. We do brunch, lunch, or dinner, museums, farmer's markets, etc. All events that requires planning and money.
If a man can't be at least as great as my girlfriends, then by definition he's a downgrade.
It boggles my mind that society hasn't clued into this, or that women still look at me like I've shot their dog when I say dates mean dinner and the guy pays.
Unknown member
Feb 19, 2023
This is for the new FDSers (and maybe long-time FDSers who need a refresher):
When a man proposes coffee, drinks, a walk, a hike, etc., do not try to correct, cOMmUNIcaTe, explain, complain, or suggest a different type of date. Do not try to turn an LV offer into an HV offer, because even if he ends up taking you out for dinner, you're still stuck with an LV scrote.
The correct and immediate response is to BLOCK AND DELETE.
Some people will only give you exactly as much respect as you demand. It's low value behavior, but it's true. You shouldn't give those guys the time of the day, but keeping that in mind will prevent a lot of resentfulness. Specially since HV behaviors can only be confirmed through time.
These guys could always take them to dinner then get coffee or espresso with a nice dessert. It’s like it doesn’t even occur to these women that a high effort date could still include coffee.
Unknown member
Feb 20, 2023
Replying to
The pickmes were too embarrassed to show their faces- or atleast I didn't see many of them.
It was mainly males crying about how low effort dates doesn't equate to disrespect when they all know it does.
I wanna punch this spermoid in the face for even feeling comfortable using such s misogynistic slur so openly and shamelessly. Men don't face severe consequences for using oppressive anti-woman slurs. The amount of disdain and sheer hatred that he holds toward women can be felt in that comment.
His delusional clown Twitter is something else. Talking about how he’s only interested in women that will throw themselves at him and treat him like a KAAAANG. JFC. Look at his hideous mug, lmao.
This scrote is only interested in women that will throw themselves at him, yet he shames a woman for doing exactly that (throwing herself at him for a cheap low effort date) She did exactly what he wanted and what does he call her? "A loser bitch"
I've never understood the concept of "coffee dates." Coffee is part of my morning ritual, not a special occasion! You want to make a teeth-brushing date with me too, dude? How about a laundry-sorting or dish-washing date? Idiot!
Exception is -- I will arrange to meet up with my girlfriends to have coffee and conversation. But with a man? As a date? WTF?
There’s an intimacy to it with girlfriends. A friend and I are both busy but as we both work from home will visit each other for a coffee on the days the visitor has a quiet day. The kettle is on as we park, we dive into conversation then part efficiently. It’s acceptable because there’s over a decade of love.
The sheer practicality of it means it can’t work as a date.
I mean, I don't drink coffee to begin with, so it's already a no go. Like taking me to Red Lobster in spite of my shellfish allergy lol (yes, had a guy that still tried to get me to agree to that).
iirc someone posted a story of a Pickme who bragged about meeting someone at a laundromat or something. I think she ended up calling it a "date." Also "soda dates." I cannot ❌️
This is a great example of when WE think of coffee dates (or at least I used to in the past) it's totally different than what men think of them. I had always thought it was a low-anxiety way of starting to get to know someone (with the expectation that we'd get dinner if it went well). But men clearly see it as a slam-dunk of low effort. Since I've given up dating I don't worry about it anymore but if I ever find someone I am actually interested in, I will expect dinner or something first. No low effort, no low anxiety for him. I want him to be anxious to be near me because I'm fucking worth it.
A prime example of men preying upon our empathy and the fact that we aren't fucking sociopaths like they are. Fuck them.
Unfortunately, most men have this "she must earn my respect" mentality. You don't want to earn his crusty respect tho. Just 🗑️ him.
This is for the new FDSers (and maybe long-time FDSers who need a refresher):
When a man proposes coffee, drinks, a walk, a hike, etc., do not try to correct, cOMmUNIcaTe, explain, complain, or suggest a different type of date. Do not try to turn an LV offer into an HV offer, because even if he ends up taking you out for dinner, you're still stuck with an LV scrote.
The correct and immediate response is to BLOCK AND DELETE.
Some people will only give you exactly as much respect as you demand. It's low value behavior, but it's true. You shouldn't give those guys the time of the day, but keeping that in mind will prevent a lot of resentfulness. Specially since HV behaviors can only be confirmed through time.
Flashback to the guy from Tinder who told me he quit his job to draw furry p*rn then asked me out for coffee immediately after.
The men in the comments trying to do damage control is funny
"Loser bitch"
I wanna punch this spermoid in the face for even feeling comfortable using such s misogynistic slur so openly and shamelessly. Men don't face severe consequences for using oppressive anti-woman slurs. The amount of disdain and sheer hatred that he holds toward women can be felt in that comment.
I've never understood the concept of "coffee dates." Coffee is part of my morning ritual, not a special occasion! You want to make a teeth-brushing date with me too, dude? How about a laundry-sorting or dish-washing date? Idiot!
Exception is -- I will arrange to meet up with my girlfriends to have coffee and conversation. But with a man? As a date? WTF?
I mean, I don't drink coffee to begin with, so it's already a no go. Like taking me to Red Lobster in spite of my shellfish allergy lol (yes, had a guy that still tried to get me to agree to that).
I'll never accept a coffee date.
His profile pic is killing me
iirc someone posted a story of a Pickme who bragged about meeting someone at a laundromat or something. I think she ended up calling it a "date." Also "soda dates." I cannot ❌️