.png)
Have you noticed scrotes run away, minimize, or try to covertly put you down as soon as they realize you’ve achieved something they haven’t?
I recently had an experience of a scrote who asked me out for drinks. This was the first red flag along with others — the reason being: drink dates tend to be low effort and have fboy energy, the last date I went out on was a fancy dinner and the guy (a different guy) brought me roses so I told myself I wouldn’t be dating unless it was a memorable offer, as dating is generally not worth the numerous risks.
Anywho, with this dude, I basically told him no I don’t go on drink dates and plus (yes, this was my mistake in sharing and not ghosting him immediately, but I still battle being polite sometimes and we had had an otherwise decent convo beforehand, so I felt more hesitant) I had a busy week anyway since he mentioned doing it soon.
He proceeded to ask me if what I was working on was for work or school, and when I reluctantly shared vaguely I was working on at work, but the fact that I was at a certain level of education (higher than his and at a very well known university) also came up — he stopped contact immediately.
Of course this is a good thing as I did not want to waste my time with such a person who clearly has fboi motives.
But to do that specifically AFTER I mentioned something like that is very telling. He didn’t do it after I told him I don’t do drink dates or rejected him for a date. He did it specifically after finding out more about what I did for work and school. I kept it as vague as possible so he wouldn’t be able to stalk or harass me but apparently it was enough info that he felt the need to do that.
I have had many experiences of LVM envious AF weirdo men who couldn’t handle a woman being accomplished or educated. Either because they’re threatened or assume I’d be harder to manipulate or control. Have you had this experience?
I always hear shitty advice about how you should hide your accomplishments as a woman and how you should not try to outsmart a man cause he will feel intimidated and emasculated 🙄
Why should a woman play down her accomplishments and dim her own light for a man!! Men should be the one trying to aspire reaching the woman's level instead of trying to lower the woman's level down to his!!
I once had a guy tell me he "didn't like my confidence". He also asked me if I thought it was right women could be a man's boss. 🤔 wrong country
Not dating related but I once had the cable installation dude at my house and was discussing moving or changing where something was located (can't remember) and he said I'd have to ask for the landlords permission. I am the landlord, I fucking own this house!! We really do still live in a time where people wouldn't assume you own a place because you're a woman.
Yes! Interestingly, I’ve also had the inverse happen. Overly interested in my accomplishments only to turn resentful later. I think, in general, excessive interest is a red flag. It feels like a setup to be idealized and seen for how you can elevate his status rather than viewed as a whole person. A lot of narcissists do this.
I have had this happen before. In fact, so many times that I can't even pick out an individual story.
But, not dating related or education related, I do have one story. I was telling a male friend (this was years ago) (also this was in front of his girlfriend) about doing a mud run, and he started making excuses for why he couldn't do a mud run. He had a bad knee, etc, etc. It was so weird, like he was in competition with me. Bruh, I was just telling you what I did, not looking down on you for *not* doing a mud run. He could not handle it though. 😂
Sigh. All of my relationships pre-FDS were men that did not match my educational attainment, job satisfaction, or financial security. Although they would try to better themselves, such as go back to school, look for a better paying job, or stop doing drugs (yikes) they resented me and thought I had it so easy. All three of these examples gave up fast, and I gave up on them. Don’t settle and don’t let them drag you down!
Yes!! This is such a good vetting strategy. This time last year I was dating a LVM and he heard from the grapevine that I had was doing my old job (in research but not prestigious nor large title). I corrected him as I left that job as I got into the top healthcare program and school. Then he proceeded to tell me about how he’s “taking courses” to “level up” his job. I figured out that was a lie but essentially he was in competition with me. I proceeded to date him for 2 more months 🤡 and anytime he would ask “how I’m doing” and I would of course comment about school he would proceed to cut me off and start talking about himself. I realized he could care less about me and that he resented how accomplished I was. Also he would never had wanted to date me if he knew that I had gotten into school and thus my new career would be higher earning and rank than his. After finding FDS I’ve realized now that I want a man who is supportive and excited about my accomplishments. I want a man growing with me and not trying to stunt it.
I actually have had the other experience: if I'm truthful re what I do, then they literally start golddigging.
what about men who get depressed in response to a woman achieving her goals while he hasnt achieved any of his?
To clarify: I also have a high paying career in addition to my educational background — so even if I do date men at my education level it isn’t always the case that they have the same income - I oftentimes surpass them. So it’s definitely not just education level that successful women have a hard time finding their equal in, or finding someone who isn’t threatened by them. I don’t want to imply that this post is only about education because it can be anything from income to your glamorous house or penthouse apartment to your high grades to your appearance or social popularity. Whatever a scrote is jealous of or threatened by they will try to denigrate. But I do think money and education are some of the biggest things they can use to control you and can indicate a red flag if they’re trying to minimize it (e.g. abusers often try to financially control and abuse you to get you to stay with them, or impede your education so you won’t aspire to goals outside of them).
I'd something much, much more petty happen. Ex got upset when my parents bought me a new phone for my birthday, because it was a newer model than his and he couldn't afford to upgrade. He also didn't want me getting a new car, he wanted to give me his old one, nah.
when my ex tried reconciling with me after we had been separated for 2 years, one of the first things he started talking about (always about himself) was about how he got into uni(questionable major), great job, trying to paint himself in a light that he finally got his act together. Ok, great. I'm an advocate for bettering oneself. Next, he suggested I should look into going back to school. Full stop, I already knew where this was going. He for all intents and purposes knows details about my life and what I've been doing/have going on or not. He broached the topic very kind yet awkward "this is weird" situation, but we were not in any speaking terms for him to be suggesting that I do anything. The ball is not in his court. Ladies, I wish I wasn't human- im so tired of this song and dance with men.