Red Flag: Friendship

Here's my post on why a man wanting to be friends is a red flag:

Manipulative:

- people assume you're dating and he knows it and benefits

- people see him as more attractive and desirable when women experience the erosion of their social capital

- many people assume opposite sex "friends" are automatically fuck buddies or have fucked at some point if they still have association with one another

- others may not approach you if they assume you're dating the guy that's hanging around

- this guy then reserves the right to use you as a girlfriend-adjacent prop anytime he likes to increase his own options while simultaneously diminishing your options

- could be going out of his way to eliminate more of your options behind your back hoping you will settle for him or at least not lose your attention

- if you are well dressed and manicured people will assume you did it to look nice for him

- or worse yet that he paid for it

- he can triangulate your friendship against any woman he is trying to date/control

- or he can triangulate you with his girlfriend and say that unless you give him what his girlfriend does he will drop you from his life

- he could try to abuse/manipulate/coerce you to attempt to get out of the "friendzone"

- he could be using your friendship as a trial period to convince you he'd be a good boyfriend, and then when you agree to "date him" he pumps and dumps you because that was his intention all along but you were resistant and he needed to wear you down by saying the right things

- could go as far as pretending to be gay so you believe you have "nothing to fear"

- he ghosts you after you get married because he doesn't want to encroach on another man's territory

Lazy:

- keeping you on roster gives him an easy ego boost or attention

- or worse, access to your female social circle

- he'll shoot his shot with all of your friends and if any of them fall for it and it ends badly you might lose them as a friend

- if you give him the attention he needs without the benefit of a relationship he has no reason to get his shit together or be good to anybody because you're already his pseudogirlfriend

- or if you want to be his girlfriend and you're basically acting the role without him having to do anything for you what incentive does he have to actually ask you out

- if he does get a girlfriend he will likely ghost you as someone else is currently serving that purpose

- if you ever get him to accept you're never having sex with him he will also likely ghost if that's confirmed not on the table

- he's using your friendship as long as he feels an opportunity may present itself in the future, depending on the means he's prepared to use

- he won't go the extra mile for you or defend you because you aren't "his" so "you're on your own"

Potential costs for you:

- loss of time spent finding a good partner, or leveling up your life/career

- loss of other queen friendships because you were wasting time being friends with a scrote

- damage to your reputation being associated with a scrote

- potential to catch feelings or get pumped and dumped

- mental strife of dealing with tangled emotions for someone you weren't even dating

- usual dangers of a man being in close proximity to you alone (ie physical violence/SA etc)

TL;DR - men barely see us as humans, let alone friends. Unless they're family/coworkers keep your interactions with men to a minimum because they exist to do little else other than leech off of our resources no matter what they are - emotional, financial, physical, etc.

Don't do "friends". If they don't ask you out they're fucking around.