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Sorry for the clickbait title, I just have a quick tip I thought of this morning.
So we all know that one huge part of vetting men is weeding out the obviously incompatible or low-value men (however we categorize that). Most of weeding out the absolute bottom of the barrel men can be done by being unapologetically yourself. If they're with it, then they're with it.
Something I ended up doing that was quite radical (and here's the one kinda weird tip), was bold self expression. I stopped shaving my legs entirely, underarms etc. Now this may be VERY extreme for some, but I figured if it's a "choice" then I wanted to know what it would be like to stop "choosing" it, at least for a while.
And a surprising number of men were actually really cool about it! It literally attracted better men than when I was shaving. Like you REALLY can pick out the ones that are open and willing to listen to your reasoning and want to understand you vs the ones that don't. The men that were "grossed out" or mean to me, IMMEDIATELY got tossed. I actually met my current boyfriend while unshaven and that's been great. We've been together 2 years now!
So I'm not advocating that all women need to throw out their razors (even I still shave occasionally), but I'm saying embrace the curiosity when it comes to your personal appearance. Stop dressing "for men" if you're still in that phase. If you've been thinking about getting a bold haircut or colour, go for it! Wear what YOU want! The right men will fall in line.
I always say most men aren't looking for a partner, they're looking for compliance. Women demonstrate this compliance by doing things that are work for us but really only benefit men. Shaving, push-up bras, uncomfortable clothing, laughing at their unfunny jokes, etc...
When men complain women aren't being "feminine" enough, what they mean is compliant. And compliance will make their lives easier because they know you exist to serve them.
Yep. I've had this kind of built in LVM filter for a long time since I literally do whatever I want and makes me most comfortable, which includes not shaving. Almost no man is immediately attracted to my appearance (I'm not a slob, but I'm basically invisible to them) and I like it that way. I actually prefer dressing up for other women lol. Recently I got dolled up a little more than usual and did my hair because I was visiting some female friends. One of them greeted me with: “you look like a mermaid!” This is basically the only kind of compliment I want. My partner also gives good compliments, and he obviously thinks I'm pretty. But I also know this is not what he values about me most. And it's not what I value about myself most, I have other strengths. LVM are absolutely livid when you stop caring so much about what you look like, it's like you refused to complete your assignment as a woman.
Love it. Reminds me of when I first stopped shaving my underarms. I was dressed for work with a black dress and heels. This guy in a gas station was being obvious in checking me out...doing the thing where you can tell they are about to approach. So I purposely went to the chilled section and reached up high for an orange juice [that I didn't even need]. He was visibly revolted and left me alone after that. Bullet dodged.
Your click bait title made me lol.
And based. I dont want to be with a scrote who is disgusted by a woman's natural body.
Yup bc only pornsick men want completely shaven women with no pubes either and want us looking as infantilizied as possible 🤢
Men are really triggered by women with underarm hair specifically! I dated a LVM for several years, and he never cared much about my appearance - weight fluctuating, different haircuts, wearing different clothing styles. He was getting free sex so the details didn’t matter to him. But the one time I decided to try not shaving my underarms, he was making passive-aggressive criticisms within weeks! It really exposes the men who feel entitled to women’s compliance with onerous social norms.
I think this is great advice and extends beyond just romantic relationships. I was always a people pleaser and "good girl" growing up, to the point where I would change myself according to who I was around. I was shy and scared to be my true self. Maybe I didn't even know who my true self even was.
Now that I'm in my 30s, I've started to connect with myself on a deeper level. I want to live more authentically. I think authenticity is essential in connecting with the people who are right for you. I think authenticity comes from self-love and a strong sense of self. When we love ourselves, we are not afraid to be who we are, to exist how we want, to wear what we like, to speak our minds. Knowing ourselves will also help us in relationships and keep our standards high.
I still have a lot of work to do in this area. I notice how, with men, I can change myself, go along with things I disagree with, not stand up for myself, and lose my authenticity in order to please them or keep their interest. Or, in the past, I have been too polite and settled for dynamics that were not mutual on MY end. Knowing who we are and living as our most authentic selves is very important. We won't put up with men who make us feel less than, and we won't settle for connections that are not fully mutual on both ends and that do not satisfy us.
Yeah! If you've ever had a pick-me phase and then recovered from it (as I feel is pretty common), you KNOW the men it attracts and what they want from you - yes, compliance and servitude. And my whole appearance just says 'ABSOLUTELY the fuck NOT' lol
I have been shaving my legs much less as I've made my way to my 30s - I don't have particularly hairy legs to start with, but it genuinely surprised me how little dudes care. The first time I went out without having shaven in a few days/a week, I thought everyone would stare at me but nope. Literally no one cared.
it's a nice tip. sadly, i can't say it has worked for me. i've been with guys who were ok with my body hair and they were all shit. the ones who weren't ok with it also got tossed out. it's a good filter for men who like femininity and have pedo tendencies, but it's not that good for filtering out LVM, unfortunately.
"willing to listen to your reasoning"? It shouldn't even be a conversation or thing that requires 'reasoning'. It can indeed sometimes be a good BS radar, however, I've also experienced the following: • Men who think they're 'doing you a favour' by 'accepting' you in your 'ugliness' (ie natural state). Ie pity fuck/attention
Men who have some weird fetish for hairy women
men who still view it as 'masculine', and are closet into men
a man who genuinely liked it/was into it/non phased, but then was turned off when I actually shaved one time. I felt like my body was his object. It shouldn;t matter either way. It should be a non-thing. It's not something that requires any explanation or conversation at all tbh.
When I was a pickme I never shaved. Still made all the wrong decisions though.
Not shaving is all very well, but you've still gotta follow the FDS handbook...
Nothing wrong with not shaving, nothing wrong with shaving. Personally, I shave every day and get brazilians. To me there's nothing better than fresh clean sheets against silky smooth skin. I haven't dated in years, so I'm not doing it for any man. That's what's key.
Oh thank God I can stop making myself look like a baby all the time
I use my leg hair as a strategy like this, and I can confirm that it works very well!