.png)
TW - Sexual Assault
To start off, I have my friend's consent to share her story. This has also been my experience too.
Never share your sexual trauma, with men, literally any man. Why I say this, is because, men can not empathize with traumatic events, like sexual assault. Instead, they turn it into something perverse, for their own gratification.
My friend and I have been through such traumatic shit, and in our pickme days, we felt if we shared our past with our then boyfriends, they'd understand us better. WRONG.
One such man, listened intently to my friend's experience, was all comforting and shit, but then later in the day, repeated the exact assault on her. He got even violent when she repeatedly said NO, but had to give in, for fear of her life.
With me, I was on a call with my then POS boyfriend, when I shared my experience with him. At first, it felt like he was genuinely interested in listening to me, by the manner he was asking me questions. But, then those questions turned very specific, like "so, what happened next?, what did he do next?". My intuition showed up as uncomfortableness, and I realized he was touching himself, while listening to my story.
We both felt violated, all over again.
Never in my life, I have come across any man, who has the ability to empathize with a woman. For them, everything needs to be turned into something sexual and perverse. Even when a woman cries, a man gets aroused by seeing that. Reddit is a cesspool of all such men, because porn has been normalising this shit, for years. Their brains have been permanently damaged.
Totally agree. I shared my experience of rape with my ex, it happened a few years prior when I was on a trip and met a guy on Tinder. Then the ex proceed to ask a lot of questions, talk non stop about it without making any effort to spare me the trauma of re telling the details. Later he refereed to it as in a “willd and sexy trip abroad” NO scrote, I was raped and the guy removed his condom, I had to run a ton of test when I came back, how can that be WILD AND SEXY? They are sick, I tell you
men will be jealous that they didn’t get to degrade you in the same way the abuser did.
porn shows them to get off on a woman’s pain.
sorry It’s sad.
there is no way 100 percent of men are subscribed to this thinking. And this is why women want to figure out how to date the good ones.
screw those guys. They damage us all, but please don’t give them any attention you can manage to give to other things. They are stupid.
I’m so sorry about this, I relate as I’ve been assaulted after opening up about my sexual trauma to a man in recent years. I regret letting him know that side of me everyday: not because it’s my fault, but he didn’t deserve to know me like that. As he betrayed my trust. And I’m truly sorry your ex and your friends’ rapist betrayed yours.
why the hell do we still try to date men? this makes me furious!!! i fucken hate these scrotes. we should forget these assholes and enjoy our lives as single women. they DO NOT deserve our love and affection. they deserve to rot in their own semen.
i've made the same mistake of sharing trauma with a guy only to have him say "well, you really shouldn't have overshared these things when we were about to have sex. it turned me off." apparently not enough for him to leave me the fuck alone. this POS deceived me by hiding from me information about him that would influence my decision to have sex with him. i call that rape. had i known the truth, i wouldn't have consented. at least he didn't think my pain was arousing, right? what a hero! i guess this is the best i can expect from males. real emapthy is asking for too much. they can only function based on the stick they have between their legs.
Yep I agree! I shared my stories with ex male "friends" I was closed with and some of them said they were turned on by it. Never tell men SHIT
He touched himself while you, his gf, were talking about your assault? Stories like these always make me think of comments men make that women have such easy lives. Lol. I am sorry but how do men with this lack of empathy not have the potential to become murderers? He clearly cares about no one.
Anyways, you are 100% right. I told this one guy about my sexual harassment stories because we were talking about how every woman has them. This was also during the time I found FDS and realized what view men have of women which traumatized me deeply. He knew all of this and would act sympathetic and then use it against me. Like, word for word what I told him I hated he would do. He would sexualize me so much that it would make me cry. He would apologize to me then do it again, lol.
Somehow he was still surprised I didnt want to be with him....anyways, he is now part of my blocked collection <3
But yeah, pretty much no man will EVER know this shit about me ever again, I know how to vet for this now.
Absolutely right- I told a guy (complete narcissist) in the early days when he asked if I had any trauma in my life (note to self now- manipulator question) He responded that some guys find it really hard without sex, to justify why I had been sexually assaulted. !!!
Further down the line, he screamed at me when I’d brought up that things becoming sexual too quick between us, that I had let the guy that had sexually assaulted me get away with it, and he probably had his d*ck in someone else and it was all my fault. Absolutely horrifying, having someone say those things to you.