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There's no reason to ever hit the "gross stage of the relationship". Pickmes will insist that you have such a great relationship where you feel simultaneously comfortable enough and have a deep enough bond that you can unleash your inner ogre. No reservations about it: he's farting, burping, picking his nose, etc. It can also look like insisting he does anything from kissing you with morning breath to sleeping with you when he should have showered first and didn't. It can be him just scratching his privates or adjusting himself too much without a care as to where he is or that you see him doing it. The list of gross things can go on and on.
The issue here is that men get too comfortable and when you give them an inch they take a mile, and before you know it he's completely let himself devolve into a disgusting slob. There is also no reason to be so disgusting- I'm talking when he's purposely ripping farts, purposely chewing with his mouth open, even when he purposely doesn't flush or wash his hands etc - if a man is actually high value and genuinely respects you he will not feel any need to let himself go or be so deliberately gross.
With a hvm you should have a level of comfort and respect with each other that farts and other gross things can happen. They WILL happen. And at some point someone will get a bug and gross things will happen. A HVM should be there for you, compassionate, and not make an issue of whatever does happen.
The point is that LVM will purposely be ripping farts and being nasty just because they can. I'll even go further and say that some will even be deliberately gross as a shit test to see how much you'll tolerate and as a way to neg you.
The disgusting things reduce romanticism. Who wants to be intimate when your partner hasn't showered and who wants to kiss someone with morning breath? Brushing your teeth and showering aren't that time consuming. It's about respect for yourself and your partner and is a barest minimum. Being disgusting will create a strain in the relationship. It robs you of that magic.
This isn't to shame natural things but it's to Point out that there's a line between a fart naturally slipping out versus purposely blasting up the room.
Bad hygiene is an immediate sign he is LV, so keep that in mind. I also need to add that men that are frequently touching, grabbing, adjusting, and scratching their crotches also tend to be pornsick LVM especially when they are so unbothered to do it in front of you or in a public place. I've hardly ever seen women do the equivalent in public but see men grab their dicks or scratch their balls almost daily - they're trying to draw attention to that area from everyone around them.
So when vetting just keep it in mind - if he's starting to get gross consider what's a genuine slip up and what's deliberate. And remember we are adults - I know how to take care of myself, freshen up, I keep tyelonol, pepto, and gum on me. I've already excused myself to the restroom to readjust my bra or shorts or to freshen up quickly. It's not difficult- and there is no excuse to purposely be disgusting especially someone that you claim to love and value.
"there is no excuse to purposely be disgusting especially someone that you claim to love and value"
Spot on!
Romantic love is conditional.
I don't want to hear you pooping and farting because the open door is a sign of how close we are. It's a turn off and a very fast way to kill any sexual attraction. The ick is forthcoming
They are LAZY and SELFISH.
Lazy and selfish roommates, co-parents and sexual partners. Stingy, emotionally and physically. This type of man will never be a protector or provider. Someone that lives like this clearly has no respect for themselves or anyone subjected to being in their presence. Why would someone this feral, have any respect for you? Being around someone like this is just degrading on so many levels.
Please do not make yourself susceptible to a disease by being with a man like this. You’d think after COVID they would have learned even one thing about infection control.
This post should be a public health announcement.
Even my emotionally abusive ex didn't subject me to bad breath, greasy hair, unwashed balls, farting/burping on purpose, noisy eating, nose picking or peeing/pooping in front of me. These are all no-gos for me. I expect a certain level of civilized behavior, and I want my man clean and non-gross at all times.
Fantastic post! Love, love, love.
I've noticed the same people who think purposfully being disgusting in front of your partner is a sign of love are the same people who will tell you that "we treat the ones we feel closest to the worst, so him treating you like shit is a sign he feels close to you."
They both confuse being comfortable with having a good relationship. I'm not saying you shouldn't feel comfortable enough to be yourself around your SO, but for a man to take your affection for granted to the point that he no longer tries to be presentable or decent? That is a sign that he doesn't value your relationship. A man will put effort into impressing/one upping his male friends, no matter how long they've been friends for, but we're supposed to accept that we're only entitled to three months of goid behavior from them? No. Let's go back to being strangers, then.
this post is a great point and therein lies the truth: a man [or woman] cannot be high value if they are lowering their value with deliberate bad manners, poor hygiene, etc. There is a huge difference between sitting around expecting others to not care because you have lost respect for yourself first and now do not respect your partner and actually caring enough to maintain a semblance of dignity and respect for the relationship and wanting it to grow for the better.
Its abusive to do anything other than provide dignity and respect.
I think these people purposefully confuse becoming a little more comfortable around each other (e.g. letting him see you without make-up, your hair done or in your favorite ridiculous pyjamas) and allowing yourself to be a little more vulnerable around each other (e.g. letting him see you when you are sick or not having a good day) - which is a normal step - with stopping to even put in effort to be attractive for the other person, being disgusting on purpose and losing basic manners.
I mean I wouldn't do all these things around my closest family. Because it's rude, disgusting and disrespectful. Who the hell raised you if you think it's okay to poop with the door open, fart on purpose and scratch you crotch around anyone, let alone a partner? I don't even do these things when I'm alone because they are just gross.