Men with less drive than you will target you because of your drive. Watch out!

There's a post on one of the dating forums from a middle aged who asks the standard why R wimmin golddiggers question. Further probing and he admits the following:

• he works an okay job as a retail manager

• his job does not match his level of intellectual ability (these are his words)

• but he wants to attract women who have his same level of intellect or higher, who likely have achieved more from his own perspective

• why do those women judge the poor baby for his average middle class job 🥺

You can picture how the responses went. Several women proclaiming "your job doesn't matter, just pay your own bills, I don't need a fancy 1-week vacation in Hawaii. I'm not like other girls".

However the smart ones among us can read between the lines. Because what this middle aged man is telling you is: I am an underachiever, by my own standards. I took the scenic route. BUT I want a woman who didn't take the scenic route. How can I get what I want?

There is nothing wrong with not striving to master if the universe. Most people won't be CEOs and Doctors and Lawyers, etc. But what you almost always see with men like this is that they believe they deserve an amazing woman who worked extra hard and chose a rigorous career. They just don't want that woman judging them.

So I'll just say this to women who date men, be very very careful of hypergamous entitled men. He believes you should judge him on his inner unexpressed potential while he enjoys the rewards of your outer hard work and strategy. He wants access to your social and economic circles, and thinks his 'good heart' is a viable trade. And most importantly, he botched the male privilege he was given while you fought through tremendous barriers to get every single achievement you have.

Please note I'm not one of those women who believe you have to date men who make more money than you. But it is a bad idea to get with a man who brings a highly lopsided financial or socioeconomic sense compared to yours. A difference of 20% between your incomes is one thing (especially if you make 6 figures). But if you're making $150 k at 33 years old and he's bringing $75k at 38 years old and you both live in NYC.... Especially if he claims to not be materialistic, good luck with that. I think the only possible exceptions I'd make for myself are men who choose caring but modest paying professions that still require a lot of education and training, eg. he has a MSW or an MDiv AND shows all the high value qualities you expect and is financially responsible.

I can't tell you how many men I've met with useless degrees who half-assed their way through school or dropped out, then in their late 20s to 30s start panicking and they do things like enroll in a terrible unaccredited for-profit college, or get sucked into MLM, etc., or go back to school and get a 3rd bachelor's degree... That is, again they take the easy way out instead of pushing themselves to do something that's truly challenging but has long term potential. Be very careful of men who have a short term mindset who want to benefit from your long term orientation.

Edit: LMAO I didn't fully read the comments but more is revealed. This man said in his original post that he focused less on being an achiever and more on his identity as a husband and father but his terrible wife judged him for his job 🥺. A few astute people asked more questions and he reveals that he was a terrible husband 😭. By his own admission, he gets overwhelmed by decision making as a man with undiagnosed autism and aNXiETy (he won't get a diagnosis) so he liked his ex wife making all the decisions and she got tired of it. So you see that underachieving men aren't even good at the domestic stuff that they claim is their purview.