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There's been a few screenshots over the past few months asking how to respond to a text from a man. I think we need to discuss this and make things clear. Especially when texting is so common, and some people are probably trying OLD.
So, what are some giveaways that a man you're texting is low value? A man starts giving me low value vibes when he does the following;
Leaving messages on read/ignoring questions/abrubtly ending conversations
Not replying for 6+ hours.
consistently sending one word responses, or dry responses
Asking for pics
turning conversations sexual
ghosting then reappearing days to weeks later
going straight to talking about women and women in his life ie his ex
would you agree/disagree and anything to add?
And also, what would you expect from a HVM?
"wyd" 🤢
They ask you a question, for example, like what your plans are for the weekend. You respond something like gotta catch up on school and chores and other errands and they reply hours later with "oh okay haha. I just got back from [some event]", which is basically just not making an effort to get to know you and always turning the conversation back on them. PSA to all the dudes lurking: this makes you 1000 times more boring. I would rather keep doing chores than make an effort to keep that conversation going.
My biggest texting pet peeve is when someone won’t let the conversation end naturally. Asking question after question after question just to try and force the conversation to keep going until I finally have to lie and say I’m going to bed just to get it to stop. I know I can just not respond, but when I have an unanswered question in my messages it gives me anxiety to just leave it for a long time. It’s really the main reason I stopped letting them have my phone number until we’d met a couple times.
I consider this a LV texting habit because imo it occurs when a man is trying to force a connection to happen way too quickly. Otherwise there’s be no need to talk all night every night when we haven’t even met yet. Like let’s get all this pointless talking out of the way so we can have sex asap.
Don't text with men. They waste your time. You gain nothing from this.
Some already covered in the other comments but for me:
- shit grammar/spelling. I expect a man to know the difference between your/you’re
- lazy one word responses
- messages sent at inappropriate/sporadic times shows little value for my time
Men are, by definition, LV. So ... <shrugs>.
Eh 6 hours and "abruptly ending conversations" depends to me. I might text a guy something during my natural 10am lull at work and he gets back to me after work. That's totally fine to me.
Also if we're talking random chit chat, I abruptly pause conversations all the time. If I have to go I just go and get back to him when I can (reasonably). I wouldn't really expect different from a man in that stage. As long as plans are being made and dates include legitimate/deep conversations, I wouldn't really want either of us putting too much importance on the random chit chat.
That being said, I agree with what someone else said that as far as sporadic chit chat goes "what'd you get up to this weekend" "xyz event" "cool I did abc" is boring; "xyz event" "oh I heard a story on All Things Considered about (related topic) yesterday, you might find it interesting" is good chat. Interaction took 5 seconds of my time and he added value to my life.
Asking you serious questions via text.
There is no sensible valuable man over the age of 30 that will text you "BTW, what are you looking for in a partner?"
Him asking that question is already sus. But choosing to ask it by text is hilariously incompetent.