If the place or people give off bad vibes, LEAVE

I did this at a networking event recently.

Walked into the room, totally awkward vibe, people only talking to the folks they knew and all turned to look at me walk in alone.

My friend joined me like 5 minutes later, we both agreed it wasn't for us so we left and had a great pasta dinner instead.

I once left a party early because something felt off. The host ran outside after me to say goodbye and casually mentioned his new pad was right around the corner and that we should "hang out."

I declined and booked it. Never heard from him again.

Few years later, scores of women went public accusing this guy of domestic violence. His wife (surprise, he was married!) very publicly divorced him amid the allegations, and her own discovery that the guy had been cheating on her with tons of women.

One of his victims told me his favorite tactic was inviting women over, getting them drunk, and raping them.

This is just one example of the many times my intuition has saved my ass.

If something feels wrong, HONOR THAT FEELING and get the hell out.

Love this.

I'm going to do this from now on.

I attended a networking event last Wednesday and it was exactly as you said: it felt very cliquey. It also didn't help that it was packed with financial advisors and sales-y business owners.

Barf.

Granted, there were friendlier members but it felt insincere. It felt like they had hidden agendas.

We were assigned in groups, and lo and behold, I was the only woman in a group of four. It was uncomfortable. The men there didn't acknowledge my presence for the first five minutes. I'm not sure if it was poor conversational skills or they just couldn't bother, all I know is the experience left a bad taste in my mouth.

Thank you for this timely reminder, OP!

Our time is precious and better spent on HV people.

I just did this. I was at Barnes and Noble and some dude was talking loudly on his phone for maybe an hour. He suddenly started talking some redpill stuff (old dude, unshaved, gross, typical redpiller). I couldn't hear exactly what he said, but a guy actually got up and left as soon as he started hearing it, and I figured he was right.

I mostly do this all the time anyway but I remember a particular event where I especially took note of this characteristic in me.

I was briefly seeing a guy who tried to erode my boundaries and it was a bit of a head trip. On the back of that, I went to an event where I just felt the vibe was off as soon as I walked in. I'm used to the guys just walking up to talk to me and friendliness from the women, bar the occasional weirdness when I'm dressed up. But there was just something so strange in the subtle turning away and the avoiding eye contact, all the things I usually do myself. So I go to the bar and make conversation with two women, one I know, and the latter shuts me down and tries to move her friend away from me. Even the bar man was looking me at me like 'What the fuck? Isn't this about networking?'

I just drank my drink and talked to this one guy I know, so ended up confirming what I detected and that it was personal. I just thought to myself 'I'm way too pretty for this place' so I left and got myself delicious food too take home. While I was leaving, a couple of people asked me not to and I just rolled my eyes. You just have to leave company that is beneath you.

Preserve (and protect) yourself and your energy at all costs. Yes, yes, yes.

Does anyone else feel like it's mostly men and patriarchy that infect us with FOMO? Like, they'll go and on about how you can't miss any opportunities, and that whatever you've been looking for might just be around the corner. In my experience, lucky coincidences and pleasant suprises happen to men a lot more frequently and so they start to believe one needs to say "yes" to everything because it will be worth it in the end. For women, the reality is that so many places and situations are unsafe and that we absolutely need to retreat so we can stay sane and healthy. We cannot afford to take big risks. We need to protect our time and energy much more severely because if we don't, there WILL be someone ready to take advantage of or disrespect us. Refusing access to us is really the way to go. Even if it means we'll have a smaller network.

What a timely topic. I am learning to know when to leave when I feel uncomfortable or ignored. Until recently, I would minimize or suppress my feelings and sit in the discomfort.

 I have been going out more often this summer, thanks to dance-related social activities. One studio I go to offers practice nights. I noticed that I was ignored on one of those evenings. Pairs and groups of people would stick together and barely interact with other people. I felt invisible and ended up dancing alone for the most part. I thought that it was exceptional occurence, so I returned the following week to give it a second chance. The same thing happened.

I decided to cancel that weekly event from my calendar. Still working on that feeling of guilt and shame, because I know it is best for me in the long run. 

This is so important. Trust your gut and intuition, always. We are aware of so much more than we notice consciously and the "bad gut feeling" is your body telling you to get out. Even though you don't consciously notice the danger or hostility you are facing or the stress it causes you, your body does.

This is basically what "The Gift of Fear" (the often mentioned must-read) is about.

I hope this comment isn't out of place because it's not about dating, but sometimes you can have too much of a "good" thing and it becomes bad. I was at a presentation the other day, and after that we formed discussion groups. I wasn't a seasoned member of the church but their behavior, even if well-intentioned in their POV, feels like a cult and I don't like it. They seem pushy for me to get involved in activities when I just want to pick/choose which things I do or don't want. It makes it feel difficult to say no because then they might turn around and say "Well you say you're lonely and now you're refusing fellowship. What do you really want, then?" I just want to be left alone. Not completely alone but this is too much of the opposite extreme. I actually don't care for the particular church anyway and like another one better. One of the men of the group said "Are you coming next week?" and I said I'd try and he said "No, you WILL come next week." I'm like...excuse me? To top it off, I think I'm getting under the weather (nausea, no appetite) with one of the new corona variants and that could mean that I can't come to their meeting again.

Love this post 🙏🏿

Did this to the Walmart closest to my house.

Every time I go there, no matter what time, someone always has an attitide, the people behind me in line act like they can’t wait 2 seconds for me to grab my receipt & there’s never any registers open even @ its busiest.

Some groceries & products i can't find anywhere else so i'd rather go to another Walmart across the city or Target.

Also with the main roads. People tailgaiting me while i'm going the speed limit & a bunch of potholes. I just go through neighborhoods or backroads.

I find myself going out @ times least busy & i love it.

Like Ms. Lauryn Hill said "I gotta find peace of mind". 🤷🏿‍♀️

Good one to remind yourself of, or print out or or or :) I laughed hard when I saw this meme the first time. Unfortunately couldn't post the meme directly, so click on the text.

Hell yes. This is satisfying. You demonstrate that it wasn't meeting your standards (which go beyond dating!) and therefore not worth your time and energy. Queen 👑💓

This 🙌🏻

Any & every situation, conversation, event, place, home life situation. Just get up and walk.

Our intuition picks up things way before we do!

Love love LOVE your username!

Just want to say that I really love this post. It’s a great message that every woman needs a reminder of!