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I’m a huge football/soccer fan and a year ago, I read about a goalkeeper who’s looks had changed permanently because of a footballing accident he didn’t address on time.
While rushing out to get the ball, the oppositional player kicked him in the nose. The accident was so bad that the bone at the top of his nose was almost pushed all the way into his skull, leaving his nose almost hanging off his face. Everyone on the field was horrified at what happened and how he looked.
You’d think that he’d get surgery done right away, right? Wrong. He waited months to have reconstructive surgery and chose to wear a protective mask over a damaged nose, which resulted in him going from this:
To this:
While he’s not happy about his nose not being the same, he was quoted as saying that it was the right decision for him to wait until the end of the season to get his nose sorted out because if he had done it earlier, he would’ve been unable to play football for six to eight weeks. This can be put down to toxic masculinity - he feels that he was a tough and dedicated guy for continuing to play despite having a badly injured nose.
His story is a reminder that a lot of men don’t even prioritise their own needs which is why they don’t do the same for you. People give to themselves first before giving to others so a man who can’t do things for himself will definitely not do things for you. Look out for this when dating. For example, is a guy too stingy to pay for plastic bags to carry 20 items he’s bought at a supermarket and insists that he carry out everything by hand, despite having to catch a bus home? Does your boyfriend insist on walking to every restaurant and museum he wants to check out because taxis are “too expensive”, leaving the two of you walking long distances and being tired and sweaty? Then you have your answer: he’s stingy to himself and will be or will continue to be stingy to you. He won’t want to give to you because he doesn’t give to himself. He won’t be inclined to help you because he doesn’t help himself. Women are the ones who will give to others and deny themselves, not men.
Just another thing to look out for when vetting ✨☺️
You're so right. In general, anyone who doesn't prioritize their own needs and tries to "tough it out" is bound to be unempathetic as well (but especially so with men). It's so sad because thanks to toxic competition and greed, this type of mentality is encouraged over accepting your limits and being able to take time to prioritize yourself guilt free.
Slightly unrelated but I wanted to thank you for making this post because it's something I really needed to see. Recently quit my job because of how toxic the environment was and I was lowkey feeling guilty for not ignoring the toxic environment and just "toughing it out." Seeing this post today feels like it's my sign that I should stop feeling guilt and that I made the right choice to priotize my mental health.
This is such a great point, and a great post!
If men hate themselves, they’ll hate you too. If they neglect themselves, they’ll neglect you. If they repress their emotions, they’ll try to shut down yours.
A man in the desert with no water, can’t give you a drink.
Imagine if he were a female soccer player...we could never. Men love to claim we're equal but they're allowed to not be conventionally attractive or down right unattractive. I would date the man in the top picture, but not the bottom one. sorry not sorry