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This is a mindset shift that has helped me with dating and honestly life in general. I used to often stress if I had feelings for someone, were we soulmates? Were we going to be together forever? (In my defense, I was quite young and I’m still quite young, being in my early 20s.)
What I’ve learned now is to focus on the present. To, in addition to vetting someone as a partner, to focus on the here and now and ask - am I enjoying this, am I happy, am I satisfied with things? I feel like these are questions you should ask yourself in addition to vetting and all the other considerations while dating - am I enjoying it? Am I happy with it?
Over-fixating on the past and on the future can both be negative, in my opinion:
Over-focusing on the past - clinging to a bad relationship because of happy memories or previous good treatment
Over-focusing on the future - stressing about if he’s your soulmate, if you’re going to be together forever, etc, also falling in love with potential (that might not manifest)
Just a caveat - this should definitely be done in addition to vetting and all other considerations, and I think if you are planning for marriage and a family, it’s definitely important to think about a potential prospect’s viability and future stability
P.S. I have also decided to start my own blog! It’s stil just in development and right now is just my previous forum posts, but if you’re interested feel free to check it out here: https://femcurrent2.wordpress.com