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I see posts here along the lines of:
I'm seeing this potentially HVM and things were going great, but I think I've spotted a red flag... What do I do?
So this has prompted me to create this thread to help us put together some info about how spot fake HVM (also known as LVM). I'll start!
An easy way for a LVM to pretend to be HVM - especially if he knows about our strategies - is to pay for dinner in the first couple of dates. Since that particular standard is usually an easy way to weed out cheap LVM, it can be a deceiving trap.
It's important to keep in mind that you should be vetting for a set of behaviours, not just one or two. Avoiding 50/50 dates is just a small part of everything you must vet in a man. Let's say he pays for dinner, but he doesn't out effort in planing said dinner, or he rushes things and seems too eager to be with you. That is LV behaviour. Now what if he plans and pays for dinner, and he's not a lovebomber? Okay, that sounds promissing... However, during your first date, he trauma dumps and blames his crazy ex for the "trauma". He's bad news, sis...
So the key here is to pay attention to many different aspect of his behaviour.
Okay, now I want to know from y'all other ways you can spot a fake HVM. Are there other signs? Perhaps ones that are more subtle. I hope this can be useful!
Men who call themselves feminists are always fake HVM. They use that word strictly in the sense of 'women should be equal to men by paying 50/50 or more on dates'. It never extends to them doing 50/50 of anything useful for us (or if they actually do, they expect to be praised constantly for it). Never mind the fact that if they were truly allied with women, they would know that 'feminist' is a female-only term. In the same vein, men who desire an 'independent woman' or a 'woman who wants me but doesn't need me' may sound HV at first. But it always means 'Don't expect anything from me in this relationship, because I won't take care of you'.