How to Spot a Dangerous Man - The Man with the Hidden Life [Part 4/10]

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The man with the hidden life

❋ won’t answer direct questions about where he goes, what he does, or who he’s with

❋ conceals important information about himself that you only discover later

❋ goes by aliases

❋ engages in secretive behaviors

❋ is often unable to be reached directly—he has no address, just a post office box or voice mail

❋ resists disclosing personal information about himself, such as where he was raised, who he is related to, or where he went to school

❋ doesn’t disclose information about previous (or current) wives or girlfriends

❋ tells stories that don’t line up with his actions or with what you know about him

❋ tells stories that don’t line up with what other people tell you about him

❋ receives mysterious phone calls, pages, or letters and has mysterious appointments, jobs, or meetings

❋ is not forthcoming with information or details about his employment or how he makes money

❋ goes periods of time without contacting you

As for the “Your Defense Strategy” section, it starts with “The best defense against the hidden-life man is to develop a questioning mind.” Other things to remind yourself of are “If his response is avoidance, it’s okay to be suspicious,” and “[i]f the facts about his life don’t add up, they don’t add up!”

The main strategy recommended is to keep vetting in the long term, a core tenet of FDS.