.png)
How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved by Sandra L. Brown is one of the books in the FDS-approved self-help reading list, along with one that I read before discovering FDS myself. In my opinion, it’s an extremely valuable book that every woman should read in full. I believe that the most important parts of the book are the red flag checklists for each type of dangerous man, so I want to do my part by providing this information to other women. Once I make the other posts, I will come back to provide links for navigation.
Without further ado, here is information on the permanent clinger:
The permanent clinger
❋ needs you so much and can’t stand to be without you
❋ pleads, begs, cries, pouts, and guilts you into being with him, into changing your plans for him, into not leaving him
❋ threatens to hurt himself if you ever leave
❋ blames you for his neediness by saying his love for you produced his vulnerability
❋ wants constant reassurance about his desirability
❋ wants constant reassurance that you are not interested in other men and wants promises that you won’t reject him
❋ puts himself down so you will build him up
❋ evokes pity from you to keep you in a relationship with him
❋ has very few close friends
❋ has very few, if any, outside interests
❋ sees himself as a victim—has had multiple “discouragements” in life
❋ has had multiple unsuccessful relationships
❋ may have an unusual relationship with his mother
❋ produces a feeling of suffocation in you when you spend prolonged time with him
As for advice that wasn’t mentioned in these red flags, but was covered in the “Your Defense Strategy” section, “Slow down and see how a man reacts to your change of pace. If he reacts by moving in closer or appearing to 'need' you more than what you’re comfortable with—pay attention! He’s more interested in alleviating his impending sense of rejection or abandonment than he is in honoring your boundaries.”
last guy i got involved with was exactly like like. he raped me. if only i knew FDS then... men are evil and nothing can change my mind about this.
This is the exact description of how my current boyfriend behaves. The constant crying, begging and guilt trip. I feel suffocated
Next Part: https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/forum/vetting-safety-tips/how-to-spot-a-dangerous-man-the-parental-seeker-part-2-10
The best line from this chapter guaranteed to put anyone off this type is:
"Women who have been burned by involvement with more frightening types of dangerous men feel they are relatively safe if they date a guy with the consistency of limp spaghetti."
I unintentionally burst out in laughter at the last part while reading it.