Hi FDS'ers! After a lot of LVM encounters and dating, I was introduced to FDS and I already feel very empowered about the future! After so much reading and learning, I've found myself wanting a bit of clarity on how to approach different aspects of FDS. Firstly, I love the idea of pre screening a date before but was wondering how you initiate that with a potential date. Surely you don't explain it's a pre screen interview? What do you say to them to arrange the pre screen? Secondly, if you arrange a date at a fancy restaurant, I assume you use phrases like, "I love going to places like X Y &Z" but how will I be sure they're going to pay for the full date at the end of the night? I don't want to go to these places if I have to pay for myself (or it'd be somewhere cheap! and I know that sets the standard low) but what happens if they suggest going dutch at the end of the evening? Do I need to bite the bullet, pay and ditch? Or is there a way to guarantee I'm not going to have to fork out at the end of each date I go on? Lastly, for bisexuals out there, am I right in assuming none of the FD strategy needs to occur? Thank you so much in advance!
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I’m not dating right now, but I think it should be the one who initiates, pays. I’ve only dated men so far, so I’m not sure about with women, but in the early stages he should know where he’s taking you, or have it narrowed to some options. That’s a chance to impress, so if he seems wishywashy or wants you to take the reins it could be an indicator he’ll want to go Dutch. In the past I’ve done beer or coffee only dates because so often I’m not into the guy at all (back when I was doing OLD), and if I pay for my own drink then the guy can’t act like I owe him anything. I’m not wanting to do that anymore though, so I’m interested in others’ tactics on this as well! In the past if a man asks me to a nice cocktail lounge, wine bar, or restaurant, though, they always pay, so those are the only kind I want to go on. So if he suggests coffee or a beer, it’s likely a no for me, because he’s not trying to impress. If I’m not worried about the guy thinking I owe him, though, or if it’s a really nice place, I just don’t reach for it. Like it’s not a question or you’ve never encountered a man not paying, because *obviously* they should. So if he makes eye contact when the check comes and doesn’t automatically reach for it (as he should), a gentle smile and a “this was so amazing,” (lean back a little or don’t move a muscle towards the check), “thank you so much” etc ;)