How to conduct background checks on a potential partner

Edited to add: this is specific to California, although it applies to most U.S. states.

I feel I’m somewhat of an expert on this. The judge in my family court case required an absurd burden of proof before finally removing physical custody from my ex-husband. I built quite a case against him, and a large part of my focus was the people he was having sleep over at his house (passed out on the floor, next to my kids… it was awful). Here is what I learned:

Most standard background checks are pretty useless unless you have the person’s social security number. I was shocked at how much of my ex’s friends’ criminal histories did not show up on background checks.

Criminal and civil court matters are public record. You can find a good deal of information on people from online courthouse portals. If you want to dig deeper you can go to the courthouse and actually view the files. You can find out if there were any serious accusations a guy’s ex made regarding abusiveness, drug abuse, etc. Also, it will show if the guy requested a fee waiver (meaning he can’t pay court fees and is broke). You can also find out about bankruptcies, debt collections, etc. Find out what other counties the guy has lived in so you can check other court portals.

House calls by the police are public record. You can go to the sheriff’s department and ask for copies of any house calls made to residences (meaning either the person living there asked police to come to the house or someone else did). One caveat to this is that they will likely ask you what relation you have to the person and why you want this info. In my case, I was honest that I didn't feel my kids were safe and I needed the info for court.

You can find out if someone is married by calling the county recorder’s office and asking. You can also find out about any issues with property by checking the county recorder’s online portal. For example, I found out a tax lien was put on a guy’s property. This shows irresponsibility with money, IMO.

Mug shots are sometimes available. I’m really disappointed that our county now only participates in publishing recent mugshots, and after a few months they can’t be found.

You can look up his name on the national sex offender website.

Hope this was helpful. If I’m missing anything, please feel free to add. And remember to never tell ANYONE you’re doing this detective work. The average person (even female) does not understand and you don’t want word getting out.

Stay safe, Queens.