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This is another vetting strategy I learnt.
In the early phases of you dating him, he has to take you on numerous formal dates. No, it cannot be to "hangout" after whatever, but something formal that you two do together.
The easiest thing would be dinner where both of you dress up. Another could be a night out in the city, carnival, or something romantic.
Most importantly, he has to acknowledge that it's a date. If you're getting any mixed signals, feel free to ask him at the end after your first date and see where he's at.
Hanging out with him and his friends is not a date. Double dates do not count; it's a hangout.
I'm not against walking and coffee, but it has to be done in conjunction to something else and not on its own. Grabbing food, drinks or snacks, and going for a walk can be something done during the date, but it's not a date on itself alone. Meaning that if it's a movie and a dinner, after dinner he can take you out for coffee and ice cream, or even a walk before the next activity.
Another thing is, if he invites you to have dinner with him after work or whatever, politely decline. It's likely very sloppy and low effort. You want him to continuously impress you. By doing this, you are indirectly telling him that you want him to try harder. Albeit, I know it's very hard being that you really like him or that it means that you'll see him less often due to these expensive and lavish dates, but it's for your own good. It gives you time to think about him, and whether or not you like him.
The man I have been seeing now for few months planned all very nice dates then dessert spots/coffee after dinner. He noticed one time my foot is bleeding near my ankle and he sat me down, cleaned the blood up, kept blowing on it cause it stings then put a bandaid on it and made sure I don’t walk much after that so he brought the car to me.
I was saying on the phone once that I need to go to Costco as I’m running out of paper towels and toilet paper. He got me the brands I like and even got me a lot of those yummy mixed nuts without me asking.
He LISTENS!!! I don’t even ask. I had a bad day one time cause of my moms illness and I was seeing him later that evening and he got me two bouquets of flowers.
A pink one for me to make me smile and another one he gave me after dinner with (5 white roses) and (1 🌹) in the middle to send me a message that he wants a future with me. The five white roses represented my son, myself, his two daughters and him. The red rose represented his feelings for me as he said he is falling in love with me. He also brought a blanket and candles after dinner for us to sit near the lake and just chat since the weather was very nice.
He never ever once try to pressure me into anything sexual, respects me a lot and never made me feel confused or question his intentions. He dropped plans with his family and friends so he can accommodate my schedule and he drives two hours each way to see me. The only thing he ever got from me is a hug because he truly makes me feel like a Queen and so loved.
I don’t do anything. Sometimes I cut off our phone calls so short cause I’m busy. When he doesn’t see me he checks on me daily and calls me once a day to see how I’m doing and if I need anything.
If he wanted to, he would. I will continue to vet him but honestly a man will move mountains if he is interested in a woman. Edit to add - he knows I won't have sex before marriage and he is totally ok with waiting.
Natalie Clarice does a post on this
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/W7bSwsY5_ng
I agree wholeheartedly with most of your points, though I do have a question about this one:
"Another thing is, if he invites you to have dinner with him after work or whatever, politely decline. It's likely very sloppy and low effort."
Are you saying we should all avoid weekday dinner dates? Given that many HVW's weekends are sacred and possibly full of non-date activities, I think avoiding weekday dinner dates is impractical. I would prefer not to reserve a weekend day or evening to go on a first date with a man who could be a scrote.