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If you need a reminder of the "don't chase men" rule, are wondering whether you should text a guy, have a pattern that fits the anxious attachment style or are thinking of approaching a man in any manner, read this.
Below is a video of a scenario where a woman has chased her man, and discovers that he was talking shit about her behind her back to his guy friends. He said things along the lines of "shes deserpate, I am settling with her because I cannot get a hot girl". When women approach men, they see her as desperate and something he can use.
"But why do guys say they like it when women approach them" their EGO likes it. The insecure, fragile, lust driven ego of a LVM loves it. When a woman approaches them, requiring zero effort on their part, all it does is stroke their ego AND see you as desperate. Some men have a fantasy of a 10/10 girl approaching them and making sexual advances, because they want gratification and to exploit them. That is why these fantasies are sexual in nature. I have been told this by a guy first hand, a long time ago, that he had a "hot girl with a pornstar body who was absolutely perfect" approach his dms and start flirting with him. He also admitted to taking her for granted which ultimately lead to the end of the relationship. Even though she was so perfect, an ideal girl - the reason why, is she (or this catfish) approached him.
This is what happens when you approach, when you chase men. They see it as an opportunity to use and exploit them. This is how you fall into the hands of an insecure man, like a fuck boy, or even an abuser.
"Some guys are just shy, what if hes too shy to approach me" For the love of god, if he wanted to he would. Men will not just sit there when they see their dream woman. Dont be fooled by the low effort scrotes. Many men work hard, aim to save money and prepare for being a provider their entire young adult life, so that when they do meet a woman they think is a match they are ready to provide and treat her right.
Here is a great addition to the video above;
When you meet a man who is truly interested you won't have to do anything. You won't be wondering where you stand with him. You won't have to send that risky text trying to prove yourself to him while hes not matching that energy.
Men are so incredibly transparent. If he's not pursueing you, its because he doesnt want to. If he is hot and cold, he's texting 20 odd other women and disapears because he's busy texting them. If they start dating you even though you had to pursue, they settled. And so on and so forth.
There is an article on this site about how "If he wanted to he would " doesnt apply to all men. Some LVMs and NVMs genuinely hate women and take out all their insecurities on them in the form of abuse. They will never suddenly treat a woman right because they're his "dream girl". They will always see women as free labour and therapy and just settle with them and then go find another woman once the first woman gets tired of their shit and dumps them.
HOWEVER letting men chase, letting them pursue you (not out of lust of course, out of genuine interest and seeing your value), will greatly increase your chances of attracting a high value man and help lower the chances of ending up with some scrote who makes use of you, cheats on you or abuses. It also helps you avoid the confusion of "does he actually like me or is he responding to be polite". It doesn't matter how old you are, good things come to those who wait 🌺 I've learned that there is no race to find a man before a certain age, because dating is ultimately a distraction from leveling up. Often women lose themselves in relationships and get distracted from their own life and priorities. Be as self absorbed as men are, centering men does absolutely nothing for us.
Of course they like women approaching them! It's free sex without any effort falling on their lap, a gift from god 👌
This is why men have pictures of them with a fish they caught on dating websites. Subconciously, they are saying they need to put effort into something they've worked toward.
"Often women lose themselves in relationships and get distracted from their own life and priorities". Holy hell, that sentence hit me like a splash of cold water.
The way men try to psy-op women into making the first move with those cutesy memes "a girl asking a guy out has a 99% of success" or something. We're not looking to bag just any guy, we're not LIKE YOU.
I hit on a guy after he harassed me for like two years. I thought I was cool and dominant for making moves (I used to just be a domina in general so that's where my mind went). He was hot and cold and eventually just spread rumors about me to his one quirky girlfriend and "they weren't a thing".
Men are privileged in the fact that they can actually be transparent and run around harassing people, pulling out the victim card once they're held accountable or reported to HR.
Not only am I never going to hit on a man ever again but I'm going to feel sus even if they hit on me. I want someone that'll literally humiliate themselves in front of me and actually talk to me like a person instead of the "cute curvy sad girl that just needs c*ck" literally how everyone treated me everywhere despite being wholly focused on my career and never asking for their company.
They want to make you look like an idiot for doing the thing they do on a daily basis, I'll make them look like an idiot first. They could be a 2 rejecting a 10 and think they won something, simply embarrassing us or using us for a bit makes their smooth brains light up in a narcissistic rush.