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No matter how rich a man is, if he is not willing to be generous with you, he is just not that into you.
This should be obvious to all of us. However, it can come up in small, insidious ways that we may not recognize immediately.
For example, many years ago, I had a boyfriend who told me proudly that he was promoted at work. Immediately, I felt sick to my stomach. At the time, I thought I was crazy for feeling unhappy about his success.
With many years' hindsight, I realize now that I felt anxious and resentful because he was cheap with me. We split living expenses 50/50 even though I was a student, and he made $120k/year. His promotion at work probably entailed a $20k/year raise and a $10k bonus. He ended up sharing none of it with me—never offered to buy me a gift or do anything special, though he was quick to spend $1k on dinner with his family (that he told me I was not invited to).
From this experience (and many others), I learned that any man who can sit there and 1) brag about his financial success and 2) refuse to let you benefit from his success is a man who does not give a shit about you. As soon as you pick up on this feeling, you need to leave the relationship, block, and delete. Chances are, you have already wasted time and energy that you will never get back.
It's a complete power move as well. He's telling you, in no uncertain terms, what your place in his mental hierarchy is: those people are a priority and worth spending on, you are not.
I've also over the years noticed an early manifestation of this - he gushes about how good he is to all his female family members and friends as a way of insinuating that he respects women and that that's the kind of treatment you're in for if you give him a chance. Except, it doesn't actually mean that at all. Showcasing how kind and generous he is to OTHER women - every woman except you, in fact - is just the start of his campaign to make sure you know your place and are reminded of it at every turn, lest you have the audacity to forget. FUCK these guys.
Money talks, wealth whispers.
I consider bragging about money and status symbols extremely tacky and low value behaviour in general. A man who is confident and financially secure doesn't need to openly brag about it and can easily show you his wealth through his actions by being generous.
Honestly when a guy brags about money to me, I don’t block and delete right away because my favourite thing to say to him is
“That’s not much these days”
Doesn’t matter how much he says. He could tell me he’s a millionaire and I’d still tell him this. I just like seeing the reaction 😂
A man who doesn’t want to share his wealth with you will share his wealth to impress a gold digger. I’ve read an interview about an ex wife of a pro athlete in my country and he never gave her a valentines gift while she gave up her career to built him. But Mister had no problem sending roses worth of 800$ to the gold digger he wants to get together with it. His children are only allowed to choose gifts for themselves from cheap sites like Alibaba/Aliexpress but a gold digger gets spoiled by him.
Men are more generous with the mistress hot in the pants than with his own family.
Also I bet when you blocked and deleted he was wondering what he did wrong.
Someone here said: a man who watches you struggle hates you
Yep, absolutely, and on the flip side, a man who truly loves you will share everything with you even if he doesn't have as much as the wealthy guy. My current partner is definitely not as loaded as my ex, but he spends more of his resources on me relative to what he has. He is also generous with everyone. My ex gave me expensive gifts but in 9 years never gave my mother so much as a box of chocolates (who always treated him like a prince when we were visiting).
If a man gets a raise or a windfall, he should be excited about how it will improve the quality of your shared life. I appreciate my boyfriend because while he’s not wealthy, he’s generous and prioritizes our relationship. He’s always excited when he has more financial resources because it means we can enjoy more things together.
I’m so sorry you had to learn this lesson the hard way with a stingy LVM, but once you experience a man being selfish with his money, it opens your eyes and you won’t tolerate it again in the future!
After a 50/50 ex-scrote and I decided to break up because he moved away to start a job while I was still in school, he called me (we agreed to still be “friends”, even though I loathed him by that time) to brag about how much money he was going to be making, and saying “oh, I hope you won’t feel jealous with all the attention from women I’ll be getting…” I told him that first of all, his starting salary wasn’t that much compared to the cost of living in the area he was moving to (and it wasn’t: he still had to live with a roommate), and second of all, women don’t give a shit how much money a man makes, they care about how much money a man is willing to spend on THEM. And since he‘s the cheapest motherfucker I’d ever met, I doubt any of these women would stay interested for long. I could have gone on with how he was a 4, living in an area where most men were at least an 8, but I decided I’d been “mean” enough. (I wasn’t. I should have been meaner).
Most men get angry spending money on women. This was one of the few aspects of modern feminism with high rates of acceptance by them. And usually those who reject women being able to earn money are low-value men who want to conquer women just by paying without needing personality or beauty. They are nostalgic for the fact that their 3/10 grandpa was able to ''win over'' their 7/10 grandma with a 9-5 job