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My mom's friend wanted to set me up with a guy. I called him and spoke with him on the phone. He seemed like a good guy, charismatic, etc. He said he's looking to get married in the near future. He said he was planning to start a business. No glaring red flags that I noticed except that he was finishing college late, and he seemed like he was lacking direction in his career. Nothing wrong with this, but also not something I want to get into a relationship with.
So I reverse searched his phone number on one of those free websites. Then, I googled him later when I got the time.
I found out that he was accused of grooming and fooling around with a minor when he was in his late 20's.
I checked my state's sex offender registry and he isn't a registered sex offender in my state that I could find. I also acknowledge that the name I found on the phone number website may not be his name (despite same first name and age and it being listed under his phone number ) and the article I found online may be a wild coincidence with a guy who has the same name and age as him and who looks a lot like him. I also acknowledge that the allegations may be false.
But do I want to date this guy? No.
Whatever happened, no guy over 19 has any business hanging out with teenagers under 18 outside of school, family, or work or maybe some light mentorship (eg Boy/ Girl Scouts). Whatever happened, he likely had sex with a minor and doesn't respect boundaries. He's likely a pervert.
And I am glad I googled him. I would never date him. Period. Block and delete. I am also trying to get a hold of my mom's friend to gently let her know, as I doubt she has the technological wherewithal to search for herself.
Actually him saying he's "planning on starting a business" and lacking direction are definitely red flags. When a guy says not just he definitely starting a business but he's "planning" on starting a business, your follow up question should be, "What business?" Cause anyone starting a business will have a business plan in place and details they can tell you about in depth. Also, lack of direction, means no goals, no ambition, which also translates into definitely not starting a business. Your follow up question should be, " where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Because he lacks direction. His answer will be very telling on whether or not he's a person with drive, direction,goals and could be a provider.
So sharpen up your red flag barometer.
I found the guy’s face book page and yes, it’s him.
I found a news article and he was charged. Idk why he isn’t a registered sex offender. Maybe he had some deal or something. But I will never be with him. My mom is now mad at her friend and so am I lol.
Reminds me of the one tiktok I saw of a woman who was browsing Tinder. Found a nice enough dude. Handsome enough. Not a grim looking profile pic and etc etc. Googles the bastard and she finds out he has an actual criminal record for stalking. Everybody has a footprint of some kind, digital or otherwise. And if you fail to find a good one, err on the side of caution and gun it.
Judysrecords.com
This website has records from across different states. This is how I found out the workplace incel has been stalking his ex wife for 15 years. They were only married a year and divorced amicably. He claimed shes this drug addled single mom who beat him up and has sex with animals. He has never met her kid and shes been with the same man for 12 years.
It's extremely problematic when a man is lacking direction in his career. I would urge you to read the handbook for more details. Glad you Googled him but I'm not sure why false allegations is one of the first thing that came to mind. A child would be unlikely to lie about something so serious.False allegations are rare. But abuse of women and children by men is not. It seems you do see the red flags but you're also gaslighting yourself into doing the mental gymnastics to give him the benefit of the doubt and convince yourself he's not as bad as bad as the red flags he's presenting.
Your mom should block her friend.
How much do you all want to bet that his mom knew all this about her son?
It's hard to keep up with scrote shenanigans. We've got your back here at FDS though! But yes always google.
9 times out of 10, when a man tells you he's "starting a business", he's just unemployed but trying to make it sound nicer. It's definitely a red flag.