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So I had an incident recently where I am SO GLAD I didn't accept a date or leave the house for a scrote.
We had excellent banter back and forth via app . I did not detect any red flags. So I agreed to a video chat.
Wow.
I really should have cut it off sooner. I just didn't know how. I wish I had a little FDS angel on my shoulder, telling me what to do and say... looking back, I think I will give myself a grade of C for how I handled it.
The man rambled on and on about himself nonstop for an hour. Did not take a breath. A few times, he said he realized he was dominating the conversation. He would then ask me a question, even though it killed him to do so. The second I would open my mouth to speak, he would start talking all over me . And he steered the conversation back to himself, of course.
My pet was making noise and I needed to see what was wrong while he was going on and on. So I excuse myself, and put the video on pause. When I came back, he was visibly angry about that! " why did you pause me? What was it you didn't want me to see?"
I thought that was a very bizarre response .
So then for another hellish few minutes, he kept talking about himself Finally I had enough and said I had to work tomorrow morning. It was nice talking to you, but I must go.
He got upset again! " what is it you have to get ready for exactly ?" His tone changed immediately again just like it did when he was mad I paused the video.
He sent me a text afterward, saying he thought I was a total catch 😂
Block and delete.
It would have been more difficult to leave a physical date. And based on his reaction? He sounds a little unhinged.
Vet vet vet. As much as you can before meeting!!!!!!!
"What do you have to get ready for?" Wtf? This loser's never heard of packing a lunch before?
He's like a failed abuser. He doesnt know that he's supposed to act nice to trap you first - and THEN start showing his temper getting controlling. May he be eternally single.
When I was online dating I only video chatted a few times even though I knew that was part of the strategy!
BUT the few times I did video chat I was so happy that I did instead of wasting my time getting ready and all that.
if I ever go back, I’m doing this all the time !
I find that so many men don’t actually know how to have a conversation. They talk AT you rather than with you. Your post reminded me of a phone chat I had few years ago with an OLD guy. He told me he liked history and I was like, ‘ok, cool’. By this stage we had established the basics - that I was a few years older than him, and with many more years of higher education under my belt. He start talking about ‘history’ and I was soon bored because his knowledge of history was so superficial. He then said, ‘have you heard of the Ottoman Empire?’. I couldn’t believe my ears and said ‘yes, of course I have’. Then he continued rambling on and I couldn’t bear it anymore so I said suddenly, ‘sorry I have to go now’ and hung up. He texted later and said, ‘You hung up so abruptly, so rude! You should try harder to not be so rude! No wonder you’re single’ 😂 The complete lack of self awareness of these men never ceases to amaze me.
Wow! What a jerk. Proud of you for cutting it off and reflecting you could have cut it off sooner :) I read a tip that said to put a timer on for 10 minutes for calls, then end it! Even if you like them. You shouldn’t need a reason, “I gotta run, BYE!” should be plenty. Maybe set a timer or alarm with a phone ring tone or something… “oh I need to take this, see ya”. Really we should be working towards ending the conversation, date, or whatever, whenever we want for whatever reason.
I just started back online and dating sooo we will see how it goes 😂 good reminder as video chat will definitely be a part my strategy.
Having ppl dominate the conversation is so annoying. Especially when im talking to someone and a person just joins the chat interrupting and dominate everything and I'm just standing there.
Then they act all innocently when you are ready to leave saying oh I didn't mean to take over the conversation.
Well you do. Otherwise you wouldn't have done it.
I once got on a video chat with a man who was sitting there drinking an energy drink, smoking a cigarette, and I saw he had missing teeth. I was SO, SO glad I had done the video chat first. I probably would’ve broken down crying if I had gone to an actual date to meet him.
The guy you spoke with on Video Chat sounds dangerous tbh. I’m really glad you didn’t meet up with him in person!
My results were so great with video chat first !
-one guy turned out to be drug addict that barely moved on camera but had perfect pics on OLD
-guy that put pictures of him when he was in college while in reality, he was 35 and balding
-married guy who hid his face off camera but had a wife and 3 kids if you search his FB
Helps filter scrotes out!
I once went on a date with a guy who wouldn't let me get a word in and then had the nerve to tell me I was really quiet.