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When a man messages you, especially when they send you something emotionally risky (like when they attempt to shoot their shot with you), wait a while to respond. Even better if you were responding to their messages initially and then they sent the risky text and you stopped responding. I'm not saying to leave them on "seen". I'm saying don't open the message at all and simply stop responding. If they start emotionally spiraling in your DMs because you're not responding fast enough, you've got a man child on your hands. Run.
Would love to hear from others how this strategy has worked for them. It's been great for me weeding out the "nice" guys.
It's a good way to test for immaturity and emotional instability. However, an emotionally mature man may sense he's being manipulated (or simply take your non-response as a signal you're not interested) and move on.
One test that I have found useful is to watch how he responds when you say no or set a boundary - however big or small. A man who does not respect your boundaries or preferences, and tries to talk you out of them, is not just persistent or interested in pursuing you - he also does not care about you or what you want.
Yup, I noticed without doing it on purpose. Great vetting strategy, the trash takes itself out etc.
I've dated avoidant men before and lowkey think they do this to shit test you. Like, if you ask about anything they might find threatening or explicitly set a boundary (basically anything that a pick-me would waver about doing), they suddenly go quiet out of nowhere before replying. So, if men do this strategy, you know it probably works.
As a younger pick-me I used to take the bait and end up in relationships with these men. I've (finally - thanks FDS) learned to spot this shit and ghost when I notice it happening. One of the first genuinely green flags I got from my boyfriend was the fact that he never did this kind of shit - consistently prompt replies even a year in.