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So a little over a month ago I went through a pretty rough breakup. In short, I found out he was a major liar, player, and was putting on a totally BS facade about who he really is the entire relationship. We only dated for 4 months but it was still very upsetting for me. We were in an exclusive bf/gf relationship.
I went back and looked back at an old reddit post I made asking for advice about him once and holy crap, he was SO FULL OF SHIT. And knew damn well that he was full of it, and that I was a genuinely good person.
Also I can't prove it, but I think there's a good chance he was cheating on me as well. Multiple times he had romantic restaurants, mini golf courses etc in his apple maps search (meaning he went to those places or at least looked up directions to them) that we had never been to and he never mentioned to me. These were not places he would take his guy friends, one of them was a vegetarian thai restaurant lol.
I'm 50/50 on posting him to Are We Dating the Same Guy. Idc if it gets back to him. And he totally deserves it. But I don't want to give him the ego boost of knowing he got to me that badly. I could also see him pulling the "she's crazy" card and posting on there may kind of fuel that. On the flip side, he was so intentially deceptive that I almost feel obligated to warn other women.
My best female friend told me she thinks it's "not worth it" and I should just move on etc. I get what she's saying but I also hate that women are always told this about guys who just absolutely screw them without a second thought. To do nothing in response is almost enabling the behavior. But I also feel posting him could be perceived as a little...immature? I'm not sure if that's the word here but hopefully what I'm saying makes sense. I don't want to make an ass of myself doing it is what I'm saying.
Any thoughts are appreciated. If anyone else has posted a guy on there before, did you regret it down the road?
Sorry you went through all of that.
I don't really have any advice. I was seeing a guy last year and found out afterwards that I was the other woman. I considered telling his partner, but ultimately decided not to as I couldn't quite work up the nerve and I was nursing my own shock and grief over the situation. However, a year later, I regret not doing it. She really deserved to know, and whatever happened next would have been up to her. I have no idea if they are still together or not.
If you think other women should be aware of him, then by all means post about him. Do it anonymously if you are concerned he will find out. I think this is a situation where you need to be guided by your gut feeling on it.
Best wishes for moving forward xx
I would post him. You said he’s a liar, a player and completely misrepresented himself. Post anonymously if you want, and don’t give too many details about your relationship - just say that he’s a liar and con artist. I’m sure other women will come out of the woodwork to share their bad experiences with him, too.
This way, other women are warned ahead of time, and will reject him before they get sucked in.
I’m so grateful to the AWDTSG group in my town: so many damn scrotes there, and it helps me to continue trusting my gut when I meet a creep.
For example, I met some people while volunteering this summer. One man kept hitting on me and I rejected him (he seemed off). I looked him up on AWDTSG and holy hell (!!) he’s a wife beater and lied to dozens of women about having ALS - he’s a completely horrible person. I’d been feeling a little bad for harshly shutting him down, but after seeing stories from other women, I was grateful I’d kept my distance!
Keep women safe. Report him.
I wouldn't post about him. If you see him posted in the group, go ahead and divulge your experience with him, but let's say you do post and it does get back around to him--he's gonna have more time to plead his case to his next victim or just find a way to be sneakier about anything you expose him for.
If someone posts about him, it means they're already open to the possibility that he's bad news and are more likely to listen, anyway.