As fds followers what can we do to prevent this

There is always a spot in these stories (and my own personal stories with scrotes) where the scrotes revealed themselves but we (I) chose to carry on. I see like 5 different spots in this story alone where she should have left sooner. I never blame women at all for this, but leaving at the first sign of disrespect and not following your wishes (especially about something this serious) would have saved this girl a lot of time. It never gets better and it only gets worse when they start showing their asses like this. It's a tough spot and it's not easy, but those are the moments where we should walk and save our time/sanity/dignity.

It's easy to prevent this! Don't worry. No man can waste your time trying to have children if you don't let him.

You have to prioritize your future family, and be ready to leave him as soon as you find out he's not intentional about becoming a father.

If he has doubts, he's not the one.

Good signs:

he's ok with visiting a doctor to see if he's ok down there,

He's serious about regularly trying to conceive,

He doesn't have excuses,

He's saving up for his future children,

He's learning about how to become a father, he's thinking about role models, he's talking to his friends about it, he talks to friends who are already fathers...

As a woman you're going to go throughout a lot of hormonal changes, WILLINGLY or not. He will too, but not at the same rate, so he has to put the work VOLUNTARILY and prepare himself, he cannot leave it to chance.

Basically, if he doesn't want it more than you, he's already not putting enough energy, because you will put your whole body and life into it, he will have to put the mind, the organization, the financial thinking...he can't just half ass it and stand there saying meh okay if you really want it...

Trust me if a man wants to be a father you will know because he will mention his "future children" and actually appear bothered about the strategy, the logistics... If he's not already thinking about it LET HIM GO.

Of course there's a whole lot of vetting to do with men who want children (basic ones: is he a pədo/pərv/unsafe? Health issues? Genetic issues?.....) but it would be wasted on males who are not enthusiastic about becoming fathers SOON (NO, the "yeah one day I'd like to be a father" are NOT OK).

I've shared this here before, but there's really nothing you can do to fully prevent a man wasting your time. My husband was wonderful during the first ten years of our time together, nearly perfect. He got injured and became addicted to painkillers. Everything went downhill from there. You can only vet constantly to lessen risk, even during marriage.

Prevent this?

Easy: be very clear about family planning issues before you get into a commited relationship with someone and drop him the moment he tries to delay or sabotage things. If you want children within the next 5 years, for example, and are already 30+ and on hormonal birth control you need to start getting serious and trying really soon because it will very likely take some time until you actually get pregnant in these circumstances (I have a few friends who had their first child in their mid 30s, every single one of them had to try for more than a year until she got pregnant). There's literally no time to "wait a few years until you are more ready".

Do not stay 9 years🤡 to have the carrot dangled in front of you, I would say 2-3 years max if you're in your 30ies, enough time for him to propose and get you pregnant

Do not ever leave your support network for a man, the woman in the post has no family around because she lives abroad and not many friends due to a move to new city

Odds are low that most women will find a man worth breeding with, whether she wasted her time with this husband or was still dating because she's ruthless. I would suggest not banking on marriage or kids at all. If it happens, great, if not, that's great, too. If you're financially stable enough and REALLY want kids then surrogates, sperm donors and adoption are (pricey) alternatives to marriage and kids if that doesn't pan out.

I do not want kids so thank god this is not an issue, but I would never go forward with a next step until my requirements were fullfilled. Like I'd make him sign a contract in the pre-nup that we'd start trying for kids within a year of marriage yada yada.

What can you do to prevent this? End things as soon as he says or do something you don't like. Don't sweep in under the rug, don't give second chances. When he agreed to do something and you see signs of chickening out then leave. When he keeps on stalling this saying hes not ready then leave. If he's ready to have you as a free chef and maid, if he's ready to move in with you, ready to be a girlfriend giving him the wife treatment, if he's ready to have sex with you but he's not ready to give you what you want then it's pretty obvious that he's just using you and wasting your time.

Remove yourself immediately, treat relationships like a house, your life is a house and if he's 3 months too late to pay the requirements you expect from them then it's time to evacuate.

And lastly, love men a little so that it takes a little to get rid of him when he no longer acts accordingly.

I’m pretty sure the red flags were there all along, and due to libfem conditioning, she didn’t recognize them.

But even if there had been no red flags before marriage (which I don’t believe), the fact that he “dragged his feet on fertility treatments” after she turned 36 should have been a whopper of a red flag.