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Idina Menzel candidly describes her unsuccessful IVF journey while trying to conceive another child in her upcoming documentary.
“No matter what the outcome, I just wanted women to feel seen in this film and people to understand what we go through,” the Broadway star, 51, told People of “Idina Menzel: Which Way to the Stage?” in an interview published Tuesday.
“It was important to me to forgo the privacy of that and allow people to have a little window into that experience.”
Menzel — who shares 13-year-old son Walker with her ex-husband, Taye Diggs — turned to IVF so that she and her second husband, Aaron Lohr, could have a child together.
The actress’ new project documents her fertility journey, showing doctor’s visits and some of her most vulnerable moments, which she referred to as a “balancing act.”
“I’m literally going through stuff that I’m shooting into my body, and I don’t know how that’s going to affect my voice,” she recalls in the doc.
“And it may force me to make extra trips to get back and forth to the doctor in addition to making trips to get home to my family. And all of that isn’t great on your body when you’re trying to have a baby.”
But having a child together wasn’t always in Menzel and Lohr’s plans.
“Maybe before meeting me, [Lohr] didn’t think he wanted to have kids, and then he sees how good of a dad he can be, so I wanted that for him,” she told the magazine, adding, “I didn’t think I wanted to have a baby, but then Aaron has been the most amazing man to my son.”
While the “Frozen” star and Lohr, 46, didn’t end up welcoming a child together, they have “moved beyond” it and are happy with where they are now.
“I have this amazing son, and I was fortunate enough to have him,” she said. “And the pregnancy was pretty easy and I conceived easily, and there’s a lot of people that don’t even get to have that.”
Menzel also said that Lohr, an actor, is grateful that she even tried for another baby and that it made their bond stronger.
“[Lohr] feels really loved that I even tried and put my body through that,” she shared. “I think going through all that, you’re so exhausted by it that finally, it becomes apparent, like, ‘I don’t want to do this anymore, and it just wasn’t meant to be,’ and you’re resolved in that.”
The “Wicked” star explained that Lohr is a like a father to Walker and that her son is more than enough for the two of them.
“He sees Walker as his own kid at this point anyway,” she said. “I think we feel content and lucky with what we have.” Menzel and Lohr married in 2017 after co-starring in the 2005 film adaptation of the Broadway musical “Rent.”
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when i read this, my main question was: why?
from what i hear about IVF, it is not a walk in the park so why did idina feel the need to put herself through it for the sake of her husband being able to experience raising a kid? why did she "want it for him"? why did SHE have to sacrifice so much just for this man's gratification?
i found it suspicious that she also explains how her husband supposedly felt grateful to her instead of allowing him to utter those words on his own.
i'm borderline antinatalist because having a child shouldn't be an end goal in life. having children, for women, is a box to tick and not an organic desire, hence my rather controversial belief.
as always, i would love to read more thoughts and opinions on the matter.
If he wanted to experience parenthood and raising a child and she truly wanted to experience it with him another time they could foster or adopt instead of putting her through this.
And I bet he was the one who didn't want that because "my precious seed and legacy will go to waste!" without any empathy for what IVF and another pregnancy would mean for her.
I can't imagine being 51 years old and pregnant, really, I cannot. Sounds like a medical nightmare to me. I'd be pissed off even if I end up 40+ and accidentally pregnant like I've heard stories about it before from other women.
This sick obsession with society pushing women to having multiple children despite the risks involved makes me so angry. She has one child already and that's enough. If she desires more, adoption is always a possibility; so many out there still waiting to be adopted and cherished. The whole "biological children are superior" shit is so gross.
I feel for her, really, I do. But this is why we have to fight against cultural misogyny at the root.
As someone who was in the foster care system, I see it as pure narcissism. "Muh legacy" and "it" needs to look like me. There are millions, if not a billion, adoptable children out there. :/
So many people in modern times have become convinced they can use technology to circumvent nature however they want, and it's not healthy. People in their 50's should not be having kids!
I see this so much with couples where the woman is older then the man. She’s been socialized to work extra hard to make up for any perceived “flaw” on her part, and aging is considered a flaw (a sin, even!) for women. So she thinks “well, I have to have a baby for him, to prove that I’m still fertile, and make up for the sin of being older than him." Sis, he married you knowing you are older than him, and if he wanted kids, he should have tried for them before his 40s! She even says herself that she didn't want any kids before meeting him!
He’s almost 50. If society wasn’t constantly pushing the “normal” age to have kids up, he could be a grandparent by now or at least have a child who is a young adult/teen. The idea that men can just keep pushing off having kids and then expect a woman to push a baby out on their timeline is ridiculous. Even ignoring the risks to her health, they‘re both too old. How is that fair to a 20-year-old to have parents in their late 60s/70s? I have zero sympathy for dudes who put off having kids for this long.
🕵🏽♀️This should be a cautionary tale to MEN to not wait for so long to begin bio families. But look how it’s framed. Maybe Idina would have had more success if he were 26 and not 46.🤷🏽♀️
Also, this is called NOT reading the room. This story is not relatable for most of the population. She needa a new PR rep stat.
A. IVF is wildly expensive and cost prohibitive.
B. ”At least I’ve got my one son.” Um, I’ve never tried IVF but even I have compassion for the couples who lost tons of money they didn’t have and it resulted in childlessness. This is going to be salt in the wound for the audience she is trying to target.
c. “He treats my son like his son.” Then why did you have to try for another child?