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Generalized circusry but sadly predominately female perpetrators!
In 2019 I started a jewelry side business cause I wanted to learn how to make my own jewelry and see about selling some as an active side hustle. I worked at a retail store back then populated by mostly barely out-of-college Gen-Zs but some millennials closer to my age as well.
The audacity of some of these women who barely knew me asking for free jewelry and trying to be my "beta testers". One girl went so far as to ask to come over and have me TEACH her how to make her own jewelry and " pay for the materials" instead of just buying what I had at my prices. This was after I graciously offered a 15% f/f discount (though she wasn't a friend) and you can bet this is one of those Insta-girls who could afford to be in Europe thrice a year but not pay $25 to support a fellow woman's business. Another got mad because I gifted prototypes to folks who actually purchased from my store or had those who supported me be my beta testers. She said "How come you give them stuff for free?" Then my mom had the nerve to ask me to give away my inventory so she didn't have to buy Christmas gifts / put my inventory away if I didn't play on letting people take for free.
I went to school for design so this sort of "do it for the exposure" bullshit is NOT new and quite frankly I'm glad I switched to IT.
But apparently this not isolated. My cousin has a side hustle as a home organizer and gets faced with the same "Oh what if I gave you a testimonial" instead of folks just paying for her work. Or trading. I offered to build her website / branding in exchange for her services in my art room which we both agreed was a fair trade.
I can't help but wonder if we were men if people would not expect us to give our talents away at a discount or for free.
I'm wondering if any of my fellow business owner / side hustle queens have similar experiences?
Also any of you ladies thinking of starting one - HIGHLY encouraged, it's really fulfilling, but VET your networks and don't let your loved ones guilt you into cheapening your prices or work!
Yes. It sucks. I think you’ll find that people feel unnaturally entitled to women’s creative work and their time. It’s because it’s not valued when a woman does it —just like traditional women’s work and art is devalued by society (i.e. any fibre / textile arts). Women do so much domestic labour for free, why not work for free too! How about no.
I‘ve been politely saying no for 20 years. Now if it’s an email or social media DM for free labour or items, I don’t even respond anymore. Aren’t they embarrassed? They should know better.
I love seeing all you ladies set boundaries and stick up for yourselves. Knowing your worth is so empowering ❤
I am part time self employed, kind of a free lancer. It happens all the time. Especially men feel entitled to my free work. I always have to remind them to pay for my work, because they often "magically" forget. 🙄 It's really annoying.
Yeah, I teach dance and I have a student who's asked me for free classes because she's been short on cash sometimes, supposedly. Erm, no. Now she's promoting my class all over the place, and I know it's in the hopes of scoring a freebie. Not going to happen. I didn't ask for the promotion so I'm not going to "pay" for it.
Femtrepreneurs? No, I can’t with that term. I’m also not a mumpreneur nor a #girlboss. Please. Just, don’t.
Yep. I get it a lot more from men because my hobbies and skills are in predominantly 'male' coded careers, and they're such freeloaders.
I have my own small business and it is in a creative field so I get this all the time.
it was in the beginning, especially, that people would do this to me. I learned the phrase very early on “exposure doesn’t pay my bills.” And have found more polite ways to say it like “oooh I can’t afford to do that, I am actually in pretty high demand right now and you know how expensive life is!” And I smile and they usually seem to feel bad. id say to always act like your work is in high demand even at times when it is not. It has worked well for me.
I really do wish you luck in your jewelry business too! And yes men almost always are taken more seriously in my line of work as well. I have done this job over a decade and still get this, but not so much now after building a reputation. I have had a man laugh at my rates I quoted, and I just blocked him because there definitely are people who will pay what you think your time and work is worth even if it seems high. those aren’t customers you want anyway.
Omg, I'm glad I ran into another fellow jewelry lover😭!
I love collecting vintage jewelry. Gaudy, 1960s ball drop earrings and Lucite/Resin are all my jam.
I just started making my own designs from old thrifted jewelry etc. It's honestly one of the best places to get glass beads and high-quality costume jewelry chains.
By the way, I am so sorry you're going through that. I can relate. I work in a specialized field. Ever since Covid + the lack of funding, we are asked to volunteer our services. I love volunteering but I also need to get paid sorry lol.
For your inspiration:
Rare Look Into Joseph of Hollywood. I want to go there so badly.
The Way We Wore Has a great series of jewelry designers, production, and materials.
That sucks on their part for them to do that! I've started one and my family has been my best support.