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My ex and I were in a relationship for 5 years, living together for 4 years. A year into our relationship when we moved in together, the sex declined significantly. I was doing all the initiating and often I was rejected, and when I wasn't, he reluctantly acquiesced. For years we were trying to work on the supossed underlying issues affecting the sex in our relationship. But now that it is over, and with some outside perspective I have realized that not only did he shut me out physically, but more so, he shut me out emotionally. It was really damaging and I am working on moving on.
I just bought my own condo (go me!) and I'm really excited to move in. The big hangup I'm having is that I found out through mutual friends that less than two months after we broke up he started seeing someone new. We were still in our lease together so my stuff was still in the apartment (I had been staying with friends). And I still had a key to the apartment. I went a bit off the rails and went and read all his text messages when he wasn't home because 1) good old-fashioned hurt and jealousy 2) my need to know if this had been going on while we were together. Luckily it wasn't, but I still found out that he had sex with this new girl ON MY BED. THE BED THAT I AM MOVING INTO MY NEW PLACE.
Clearly I still have a lot of anger around this situation and in order to sleep in my bed and not feel angry and dirty with obsessive thoughts of the two of them in my head, I had a friend suggest a sage burning ritual. I am definitely not woo-woo like this but for some reason it made me feel better. Does anyone have any less woo-woo suggestions or another set of rituals that don't set off the smoke alarm the first day I move in?
Hey, just wanted to say you were not alone in the sex issue. The first guy I was head-over-heels for and moved in with has stop wanting sex with me after about 6 months and i couldn't figure it out why.
I built so much resentment that I ended up cheating on him, and after going through therapy realized he was emotionally unavailable and made me feel lonely and unworthy in a relationship because even when we had sex he just finished and went to bed. I still don't understand why he wanted me to move in tho.