POLL: Is FDS compatible with Christianity? + I'm looking for friends lol

Be very careful seeking online relationships - they are never as fulfilling as in person socializing and offer a fantasy escape in place of genuine connection. Online spaces and online friends have minimal benefits (mostly benefits from the imagined intimacy) and ALL of the cons. Our brains can't tell the difference and tricking them into confusing a dopamine rush with connection is a bad idea.

There are lots of great young adults groups at all the churches in my town, church shop and find one that has a good group of peers, or joking a Bible study etc

I’m a Christian woman who’s also starting to dive into FDS. I’ll be speaking from the point of a Christian who does her best to follow Christ vs a more common kind of Christian who has never even read the Bible, because the latter would put up with a lot of LVM behaviour a Bible-following Christian wouldn't.

In my opinion, there’s a significant overlap but they aren’t compatible 100%. I expect a lot from my future husband because I know God won’t give me someone whom I will be unhappy with. “It’s just human nature!!” doesn’t fly with Christians. Watching porn, looking at other women, and disrespecting your wife in general are all heavily frowned upon. Husbands are called to love their wives like Christ has loved the church, to the point of being ready to sacrifice their lives. Overall, a man who is a real Christian would almost be a HVM by default because men are called to care for, provide for, and protect their family, especially their wives, and to strive to be better every day.

Where it largely differs IMO is the overall attitude towards LVM. As a Christian, it’s your duty to love people regardless of whether you find them likeable or not, or how they behave towards you. It doesn’t mean that you’re forced to keep them in your life no matter how they act, but rather that you should be compassionate towards them. LVM get no compassion, from my understanding. There are also other differences in the mindset, e.g. for Christianity: no sex before marriage, making a mistake doesn’t necessarily warrant cutting a person off, husband and wife are one so separating finances would be weird, the concept of ministering to and serving all other people equally vs female benefit of FDS etc. Overall, I, as a practicing Christian, either agree with or don't object to the vast majority of what FDS teaches. But you have to use discernment as well since FDS is pretty secular, and not all of it matches with what God wants for us.

While there are some good lessons in the bible, there is a disturbing amount of misogyny, scrotery and general cruelty, even from god himself. It is a hard no for me.

The Bible is the living word- we communicate with God through prayer, and he communicates with us through the Bible. We are meant to read it and meditate on it. Christians who do this will tell you they they receive something new every time they read it. The trouble we land in is when we take it literally, word for word. And we should never allow anyone else to interpret it for us either. As with anything, we should use discernment and not let others think for us. If something doesn't feel right to us, it probably isn't. This goes for FDS as well.

I believe FDS can improve all women's lives, and all should be welcome. I have noticed a small subset of individuals here who like to "other" women who they perceive as not embodying whatever their perception of FDS is to a T. That is unfortunate.

Despite its reputation as male-dominant and patriarchal, I strongly support Christianity as an FDS-aligned religion, and one that brings inestimable value to women's lives. The corruptive influence of cultural misogyny throughout the history of the church does nothing to diminish the essential truth of God's Word, even though scripture can always be misinterpreted to justify prejudice against women. Unfortunately, there's no faith or ideology that men can't give a bad name. Below are a few useful Bible verses mentioning FDS concepts and principles.

Monogamy: Several male Biblical figures had multiple wives/children with multiple women (notably, Abraham, Jacob, and King Solomon) but in every case, polygamy was portrayed as an explicit moral and practical negative, and a system in opposition to God's will for male-female relationships. Biblically, men are called to devote themselves to ONE woman, and to love and cherish her just as Jesus loved humanity enough to sacrifice himself for our salvation. Deuteronomy 17:17 even lists monogamy as a necessary quality for a worthy king of the Israelites:

Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away.

High Value Women: Proverbs 31:25-31, a passage exemplifying a "woman of noble character," describes a HV lifestyle in which a woman is educated, successful, independently accomplished, and shown love and respect by her husband, family, and community:

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

High Value Men: The Bible sets high standards of character for men. LVM/NVM are fundamentally incompatible with Christian teachings, and Christian men are instructed to display consistent integrity, as in 1 Timothy 6:11:

But as for you, O man of God, flee these things [greed, ignorance, and arrogance]. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.

Thanks for posting this question; it's certainly one worthy of discussion. Plus, it's always nice to see other Christian FDSers around. :)

It's somewhat compatible. Christianity says the husband should worship his wife, like Christ worshipped the church. Which is FDS approved, because at least its prioritising women first.

I am not keen on the reverse quoted text where the woman then submits to her husband.

Having said that, if we look at the fruits of the spirit that Christians are expected to uphold, they are all HV characteristics: Love, Joy, Peace, Forbearance, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control.

From my perspective, it really does depend. There are some beautiful passages in the Bible, but if your partner is the type of Christian who is just one culturally, and doesn't uphold the HV side of Christianity, then it's a mixed bag.

I'm Christian too :) Welcome to the club!

Gnosticism perhaps. Religion is by and for men. They have you worshipping a god made in their image - male, emotional, tyrannical, illogical, demands respect with none given, etc. Believe what you want, I'm not here to deconvert you or whatever. (I was raised as a Christian, by the way. I had to make that journey for myself.) But just know that religion is pretty patriarchal as a whole and that's no accident.

If you really want to look for a Christian group that is more welcoming and less patriarchal, though, maybe try a Unitarian Universalist church.

FDS is a varied lot—we’ve got women of all different races, nationalities, and belief systems here.