Former NASA Physicist Tom Campbell on Gender Roles

1) If she has a problem of any sort, for any reason, good or bad, clever or silly, it is YOUR problem to solve, by changing only what YOU do, say & think. You must not try in any way to change what she does, says & thinks, in reference to this problem. This is not about fixing her, it's about changing YOU.

2) If there is a serious argument or disagreement you are wrong. Period. Do whatever you can, whatever it takes, to make it the way she wants it.

3) Your job is to make her happy. Period. To do that, you must not try to change her mind, or her perception, or her wants & wishes. Simply figure out how to be, act & feel the way that will make her feel as good as possible. This must be SINCERE, & remember, the only thing you may try to change is yourself.

4) Why would you want to do this for her? Because you LOVE HER, & it is your primary responsibility in your relationship to make her happy. Whatever that requires you to do. She remains entirely blameless, always, & it's never her fault. There is no room for blame or fault within love.

5) Always do, say, be, & think what you think will make her happy. Leave no stone unturned, nothing is off the table or off limits, take great joy in the fact that your woman is happy & she cannot find a single thing about you to complain about. You must make her think & feel that you are the perfect mate & have nothing about you that she would want to improve, not even a little bit.

You must be reasonable but honest. Be yourself, & communicate your wants & needs to your man. Do not tell him what you think he wants to hear. You must try to come to your wants & needs thoughtfully, with as little fear & ego as possible. Focus on what is of fundamental importance to you, let the petty or small stuff go. He's trying to please you, & you must make that possible, though you DO NOT have to make it easy.

Because this forces the men to grow up, & let go of fear & ego. To base their relationship on LOVE. This will give the women the secure environment & the incentive they need to grow themselves, to let go of fear & ego, to base their relationship on love. That is, the men will eventually get back whatever quality love they're able to give.

This process works best with the gender roles given because men rule the outside world of stuff, while women rule the inside world of relationships. Thus the women will always do their part to grow themselves to become love if the men have what it takes to lead the process. In other words, the men have to take the initiative. Not the ladies. The women will come along, once the women are in such a loving & giving relationship, where their happiness is really what's important. It's not about the guy & what he wants. He has to grow up & get rid of the fear & ego.

If we had switched it around & said "Ladies, you have to take the rule", you would have a fair probability, not a 100%, but some non-trivial number of the men, will get to the point where they thought, "wow, this is good, she's making me happy in whatever I want" & just kind of kick back & enjoy it. They don't have the same kind of a responsibility in a relationship that a female has. The men wouldn't feel the same need to then turn around & become a working part of that process.