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So, today is All Hallows' Day.
Where I live and grew up it is customary to visit the graves of deceased family members on this day and to use it and the days before it to clean up a little, light candles and bring or plant fresh flowers before the beginning of winter. The tradition is still very much alive here, even if you are not religious/Christian/Catholic and the cemeteries are full of people.
When I did my cemetery-round today something stood out to me: the absolute majority of people visiting and tending to the graves were women. I'd say around 80%. Today is a public holiday here, so it can't be explained with the men being at work.
Isn't it strange (but somehow also fitting) that women are not only the ones who guide and guard us at birth (as mothers, midwives...) and during the first years of our lifes but also during our last years (as caretakers, nurses...) and after death? It's like everything is coming to a full circle and men - as usual - are barely involved in the crucial transitions of our lifes and their aftermath and the traditions and spirituality surrounding them.
Caring for the dieing, the deceased, mourning and taking care of graves is something assigned to women in so many cultures and symbolic acts like burying someone in an embryonic position and the whole concept of birth and rebirth paint death as something as originally female-led and female-centered as birth, even though we rarely talk about it like that.
In fact, many early deities related to caring for the deceased, death and the afterlife in a more or less positive sense (as opposed to the judgement and punishment aspect) and rebirth were female (Isis and Nephtys in Egypt, Ereshkigal in Mesopotamia, Persephone in Ancient Greece who becomes Proserpina in Ancient Rome, Hel in Nordic mythology and so many more)...
In the vast majority of cases, women are focused on caring for others, maintenance, nurturing, community, and sharing their love and light; while men are focused on material objects, power, destruction, violence, domination, and their own selfish desires.
Well done for celebrating All Hallows Day. I really wish more people took better care of their local cemeteries.
It reminds me of a quote from Call The Midwife: the night belongs to women.
It's so strange how in this one instance, it's the opposite in the culture I grew up in... all because that culture thinks women are too dirty and emotional 🙄
In terms of the main point though, this really hit home for me when I read various literature reviews on the gendered ratio of carers in the family when it comes to the elderly, a topic that is close to my heart. It is OVERWHELMINGLY women... and not even when it comes to their own family but also their husband's family members and even friends.
I find nothing more sad than women who continue being religious into adulthood when they can fully stop if they would allow themselves to really think.