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I was on an international work trip and a consultant working on the same project invited my male co-worker and I out for dinner. It was understood this would be a small "working" dinner, like a small bit of talk about work as an excuse to expense it; you know, the type of dinner douche-bro executives use the company card for.
The Michelin Star restaurant choosen by the male consultant was exceedingly expensive, a set 5 course menu type of deal.
Male consultant, my male co-worker and myself are chatting away when male consultant brings up the subject of a male local worker. Male consultant goes in depth about male local worker's low pay. Too low to afford bringing his wife and children from his home country into the county he is working in.
Guess who walks up......invited by male consultant without mentioning to him how expensive it was.....FML. I can already see what is going to happen.
When the bill arrives, after a fair bit of silence and none of the men grabbing the bill, as usual. I forcefully goad male consultant into paying for half of male local worker's meal. I pay the other half, completely out of sympathy for his wife and children, whose monthly money-sent-home would be reduced thanks to this one meal.
Well, ahhhh, local male worker thinks that I paid half of his dinner because I wanted the D. Of course, he ignores male consultant's contribution <rolls eyes>. Queue the beginning of a series of attempts to grab and kiss me, texts and calls to my official business phone...block, delete, and a series of uncomfortabe conversations with my teammates within hours of the card hitting the pay terminal.
If men can sit and watch the wives and children of their male counter parts suffer, so will I. Neither the men nor the women who married those meat sacks and choose to have multiple children by him, will get one more dollar off my back.
Men only rule the world because of their skill to off load the cost of their existence onto others and at the expense of the children their own sperm created.
No more financial empathy for anyone, ever.
Sigh. Male insecurity makes them act in ludicrous ways. I put it to you he knew. He knew you paid his half purely out of compassion. But people like that can only understand pity not compassion, so he reacted with the only emotion he understands. It seems illogical, until you put in context male misogynistic rationale.
And men don’t like to be pitied by women who they think they’re ordinarily superior to. They squirm under the same condescension and superiority they dish out. He hates what he perceives as the power dynamic that situation created. He doesn’t mind being “inferior” to a man. And this is where his misogyny comes into play.
By wooing/harassing you sexually, he is reasserting his power. He is reminding you that he is a man and you are a mere female. That when the circumstance is stripped of corporate title you are a woman, and all women are inherently subordinate to him. That on a base and biological level that is your position.
Infuriating.
Because of course your pity for his financial situation, which extended to his wife and children, should be reasonably construed as you attempting to buy sex from him. What a totally normal assumption to make; men are so LoGiCaL and RaTiOnAL 🤡
I wish there was a law where a woman can absolutely punch a man right in the face for sexually harassing us like this. Like, just one legal punch for us each year. We deserve that. 😪
This is why female empathy is so dangerous, tbh. It always puts us in harms way with men. Men never believe that we do a kind or generous act with them out of the compassion of our hearts; it's always because we want to get fucked by them. Is it any wonder why more and more young women refuse to make eye contact with men they don't know, or no longer return their "hellos" or "good morning/afternoon/etc" in public anymore?
I feel sorry for both you and the missus!
#1 lesson I've learned from FDS : never help men
jesus, men are really desperate for sex. they're worst than the most wild of animals. they interpret any and every thing as a sign of sexual interest. they think their stupid dicks are that interesting. like holy shit! seriously?
you're right, no more empathy of any kind for men.
That's fucked up 😕
But we've glossed over the fact that dude has a whole wife and kids in another country yet was immediately willing to cheat. Also, why didn't the male consultant pay for him entirely? He's the one that a. Chose that expensive restaurant and b. Invited that low wage worker. And also why didn't that 3rd male coworker not offer to go in 1/3? I would have made that male consultant pay 100%. I am definitely not opening my wallet for any man again either.
WOW.