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Obviously if there's kids involved the contact should be limited to talk about those. But since my ex cheated with the baby mama, any sort of positive contact with her outside of texts about apointment feels like a red flag. This scrote I know told me he and ex go to amusement parks with the kids, so they know that mommy and daddy don't hate each other. Liiiikeee you're giving them hope they'll fall in love again like the Parent Trap? Sickening. Poor kids.
Am I crazy that I feel this crosses a line?
Men who have children should put said children first and try to have a reasonable, polite relationship with their mother. That's basic decency and has nothing to do with dating. But I wouldn't date a man with kids anyway because I don't want to be a stepmother and there is something seriously wrong with a man if even the mother of his children doesn't want a relationship with him in 99,9% of cases.
A man who doesn't have a decent, polite relationship with the mother of his children or who is willing to neglect the relationship with his children because he is dating a new woman is a bad person in 100% of cases and nobody in their right mind should date him.
Don't date a man with kids that aren't yours. He either has a shit judge of character if the mother is the problem or he wasn't enough for the mother of his children (and he certainly won't be enough for you), and if she died, he will never love anyone like he loved her so you'll always be playing second fiddle to a deceased woman.
That being said, if you ever find yourself in a position where you are no longer with the father of your hypothetical children, I 100% agree that conversations are ONLY about the children you share. No "Hey how's it going?" Unless it affects the children, it's no longer any of his business how it's going. Ignore it. Don't respond to anything he has to say that's not related to the kids.
And I also agree that going to a theme park together is weird and it ABSOLUTELY gives the children false hope that mom and dad will get back together! The ONLY exception where I could see the parents attending the same event for the kids is it's something that is schedule-sensitive. You can go to theme parks whenever you want, once with mom and once with dad which is great cause the kids get two theme park trips!
If it's the kid's soccer game, or their wedding, one day, I could see how they would want both parents present for that. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY NEED TO BE SITTING TOGETHER OR EVEN TALKING TO EACH OTHER during said event.
Being a single parent I have realised the following.
Decent, high value couples with children don’t break up. If they do, there is a BIG reason for it. Usually there is one partner (or both) who is narcissistic. It’s important to find out who it is, because in the beginning they might both seem that way. They don’t have to be narcissists in the clinical term, but at least have a lack of empathy (maybe induced by something as addiction) and higher amounts of selfishness.
Usually the narcissist will
a) play a power ply to control the children and ex partner, for example by alienating the children, extensive legal battles) or trying to get back together with their ex partner only to dump and torment them.
b) lose all interest in the kids and have no contact to the ex partner
C) tell everyone the ex partner is toxic and they are the victim, trying to destroy the ex partners reputation.
d) will have overlapping relationships, while the victim will stay single for a long time after the breakup to heal.
E) will talk about all people in black and white terms.
f) will be very materialistic…
Find out who the narcissist (narcissistic person) is and then you know.
Baby daddy's should be spayed and forbidden from re-entering relationship market.