.png)
Can someone tell me why it's socially acceptable for strangers to inquire about what you are employed at and your place of work? This is a safety issue.
I don't like telling strangers what I do or give them an avenue to contact me. I bring this up because I'm trying to be more firm in the 'not their business' mentality in lieu of being polite. And I am struggling, my old people pleasing comfort zone is challenged.
This week alone I have had a random scrote follow me for 3 blocks trying to find our what I do for work and where I worked. And last night, another scrote I met at a gathering was adamant on pointing out my discomfort at disclosing my place of work. I was conversational about the type of work I do, but tight lipped on my place of employment and he didn't care about my discomfort and pushed for answers, and now I am mad I gave in.
What words do you say to avoid this and not be awkward? I try to keep my tone light and positive, but make it clear I am uncomfortable disclosing more. What do you do with the rest of the persistent assholes? Also, why is that the first question most scrotes ask anyway? It's non of their business. I certainly don't care to know where they work specifically. If jobs come up naturally, we can talk about our field of employment and what we enjoy about it etc. I am frustrated that it's not more acceptable to just say no.
Anyone who does this wants to stalk you.
This digging for info is rude, particularly after you say no the first time.
Many men hate hearing "no" and henceforth you are no longer in a conversation but a competition.
He now must blast thru your no so he can "win," and validate himself as deserving of your openess and acquiescence. The flip side is, of course, he must prove that you are not deserving of privacy. He must "win" so you understand that you are public property.
The guy actually following you...brutal. that's harassment.
Other men?
Say "I respect people's privacy. Let's move on, shall we?"
If he asks again, make a lighthearted excuse and walk away.
Every situation is different, but I find using the word "respect" is good, not defending your position is good, and asking directly to change course is a clear indication he has a choice and best not blow it.
The goal is NOT to telegraph to him that you are uncomfortable. This puts you into a narrative of defense.
The goal is frame your refusal as non-negotiable. Calm. Cool. Bemused, even. You're giving him a chance to demonstrate he understands what respect means.
I used to get asked this with online dating. First I used to just give a vague answer like oh I'm from a construction background. I didn't mind as I wasn't giving out private info. However I got annoyed when role was reversed and I asked another what's his passion in life? But he ignored and didn't answer my question. I then stopped asking if they love their job and when I was asked I would just say oh I don't believe a job tells anyone how a person is going to treat me and as long as you love it, I don't care what you work at. But hey, I've given up online dating lol so I don't have to think up anymore empathic responses and if I was asked I'd just say I don't divulge private info to strangers, and if they pushed, I'd say you really didn't listen to me, tells me alot about you. Then block delete walk away etc.
Take the easy way out. Lie - give any company name and move on from there. You owe only yourself - privacy, safety, and security. For this reason, I don't have Linkedin. It's just another stupid pop culture trend that allows people to be knee deep in your business, collect data for nefarious purposes and scrutinize your life.
Yeah, always be vague. Never ever give a man an idea of your work address.
It’s a common “getting to know you” question.