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So I went to my close friend’s baby shower today. While my friend was off socializing, I sat with her husband (a complete scrote) and one of her other friends’ 19-year old sister. I am in my late 30s and my friend and her husband are in their late 20s.
The 19-year old started excitedly talking about her goals for medical school and the specialty she wants to go in. Asking lots of questions of me (I work in healthcare), and of another woman there who was currently in med school.
My friend’s husband, being the scrote that he is, immediately starts pummeling her with questions about when exactly she planned to get married and have kids. She said she preferably wanted to be in her late 20s-early 30s, after she is done with school. He kept telling her not to waste time and that she isn’t getting any younger, because why would anyone want to be an “old parent” and why waste time on a career?
To add, my friend’s husband pressured and guilted her into getting pregnant when she wanted to wait just one more year until she finished grad school. She’s in the program of her dream career and he wasn’t happy for her and only cared about his own wants about having a kid RIGHT NOW.
The 19 yo stuck to her guns and said she wants to find someone who is good for her and someone she knows will be around for her when she needs it. Someone who won’t feign being nice to her initially and show his true colors later. And that she would be fine divorcing her future spouse if he disrespected her, even if she had a child with him. Friend’s husband then goes on to tell her her standards are too high, that life doesn’t always go according to plan, that she was being too rigid.
I immediately talked over him and told her to stick to her guns and she should never settle. And that if being a doctor was what makes her happy, she should do it and damn everyone else. He shut up after that.
I was so proud of her and I hope she never settles. This girl is already becoming a HVW. Just wanted to share this story that makes me hopeful for today’s young women!
woman: has normal goals like wanting a career before settling down and starting a family man: yOuR sTaNdArDs aRe tOo hIgH yOu'Ll bE tOo oLd men really stay stuck in the 60's while women progressed ahead.
Awesome! It’s so cool that you had her back. Whenever I express such an opinion at a gathering, I have been talked over by men. it seems to be an acceptable thing for them to do that. Like their opinions are the authority 😂
that’s so cool of you and makes me happy
The "too old" to have kids thing is a scare tactic from men, 100%. It's none of his business.
Thanks for sharing. Love hearing about women supporting and uplifting other women
What a trash that dude. I would have probably found it very hard not to say in front of everyone that he’s a real disappointment and that my friend could do a lot better 😆
I’m so so so happy you held her back! This was such an inspiring read for me. Also, I love that you have a mixed age friend group. It’s important for young women and older women to be not just role model and mentee but also friends.
Total queen move talking over him and validating her.
Why tf were there dudes at a baby shower?
I have a cousin like that scrote. He's about 10 years older than me and has been trying to stick his nose in my personal life since I was a teenager.
The stereotype is that it's older female relatives who are always pestering younger women to hurry up and get a boyfriend then a husband then some babies. But that's not the reality in my experience. Men push that agenda much harder than women ever do.
Women know very well what a raw deal all of that can turn out to be for us. For sure, we need to have each others' backs, and don't let men who are trying to push that on other women go unchallenged.
Good work with this one 👍
this is a Modern Woman.👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 Yes, we need to take this phrase back. I love the queen energy absolutely radiating off this post
Hey! Sounds like you had quite the experience at your friend's baby shower. It's awesome that you got to chat with the 19-year-old and hear about her aspirations to become a doctor. It's really unfortunate that your friend's husband tried to pressure her into starting a family, but I'm so glad that you were there to encourage her to stick to her guns and not settle.
It's so important to prioritize what makes us happy in life, and I hope the 19-year-old continues to pursue her dreams and find a partner who supports her. Also, I'm curious - what were the baby shower favors like?