I'm always disgusted that the betrayed mother is supposed to pretend her husband didn't betray the entire family and to make sure his children don't know what a scoundrel their father is. My mother would always say, "He loves you, but he just doesn't know how to express it." My father used to strip me naked and beat me with wooden dowels. I used to hide everything in the house that I thought he might hit me with. But I was always reassured that he loved me. Is it bit gaslighting to tell children their father loves them when he betrays their mother with another woman and LEAVES the entire family? How is that being a good father? The bar is so low for men being a good anything. A man can still be a good father when he cheats on his wife, but can a woman do the same and still be called a "good mother?" Hardly. If men have a problem with their actions being made open to their children perhaps they should think twice about their actions before doing it?
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Unknown member
Nov 13, 2022
Replying to
If a man loves his children he won't leave until the marriage can no longer be saved not to follow his ding dong to another woman. Women should stop coddling shitty fathers,
I agree with everything but want to point out that one of the first orders made in family court during a separation involving kids is a legal gag order that prevents either parent from saying anything negative about each other in front of the kids or online. The woman in this story legally had to hold her tongue and ensure visitation happened or she would’ve been punished in court.
Unknown member
Sep 08
Replying to
I needed to read this. I've just found out my dad left us - for another woman (surprise) when I was 1, my brother 3 and him and my mom just moved to another island due to a job offer he got. I found out recently at the age 35 😅 My mom took him back when he realised the affair / girlfriend-thing wasn't working after a year or so (she admitted to have regretted that ever since, but she was in a stressful situation and he's very manipulative). And now we all pretend like nothing happened. My dad is the only one not knowing that me and my brother knows. In the last couple of months the penny finally dropped - that he's a total covert narc ('a community narc.' to be more precise. A total local hero - very engaged in the local commynity, volunterring and helping others in need (read: people 'below' him, that he can control-ish 🥴) Everything finally makes so much sense to me. But it's so fucked that it took me 34 years to realise for me, 37 for my brother and 50 for my mom (that's how long they've known each other). My mom is not really ready to leave him. But me and my brother is quite done with him - but kind of have to pretend / act natural when around him. We only see him to see our mom... Have anyone dealt with anything like that? It's quite fucked - I thought my family was quite allright until a half year ago, especially because my mom totally covered and rationalized my dads behaviour - aka gaslighting the fuck out of us, and gaslighting her self. Now I'm slowly realising how fucked my dad is and how shitty 'values' he has - eventhough he's the local hero...Sorry for typos ect. - english is not my first language, and there's no spelling control in this textbox. Anyhow, just had to vent a bit 😁
I think one of the reasons is that LV men consider shy/introverted/quiet women harder to approach and talk to because they are not pursuing or entertaining them right of the bat and therefore simply consider them too much work.
Remember: they want as much fun as possible with as little effort as possible. Extroverted and open women who might even approach them first, entertain them and pursue them are perfect for lazy, low effort scrotes like that. Why put in effort to make his wife happy when that guy can get all the entertainment and attention from his pickme coworker for free?
Unknown member
Nov 12, 2022
Replying to
This is another frustrating falsehood that I have seen men demonstrate in their attitudes. If I’m quiet, I’m “shy” or “moody” but if I’m loud, they want me to be quiet and emotionally suppress myself. We have so much light and shade, why are these men reducing us to “shy good woman” vs “loud bad woman?” Shy women can be bad, loud women can be good and everything in between. It’s another version of Madonna/whore complex that only serves to make women battle each other rather than throw it back at the men by saying “hang on, why does one thing about me automatically label me as this? Doesn’t your opinion state more about YOU as a man than any one of us as women?”
Because men are one dimensional, they believe that women are, too. They cannot understand how a woman can love sex and be good in bed but also be faithful and a good mother, because they don’t come in 2 or more flavors like women do. They always want to reduce a woman and make her fit inside a compartment in their mind and life. They don’t understand that the same girl who’s quiet at home might out on a dress and go out to be the life of the party sometimes.
Thank god! when I read this I thought everyone is gonna give him sympathy
Unknown member
Nov 13, 2022
Replying to
It's the least he deserves I really thought that comment section would be full of pickme's and men on bro code who coddle him and comfort him by saying he deserves a second chance.
Your ex-wife looks more serene and happier because you never made her happy either, scrote. :)
That's the thick of it, I'm afraid. He really thought he was the only sad person in the universe and is envious of his ex-wife finding real happiness without him because he secretly wanted her to suffer forever. Like most men think when it comes to women in general; they're not happy unless us women are also as miserable as they are, and then they can rest easy. Typical male narcissism.
His ex-wife sounds like such a sweet woman, but I wish she didn't felt the need to take the high road and try to preserve his social image by never telling people (including the children) the real truth as to why they divorced. He deserves to have everything taken away from him. The house, the kids, the money, his reputation.
Isn't it funny how society tries so hard to groom women into becoming good women, the kind that are reserved yet nurturing and happy to get married by a certain age and have multiple children, yet these usually are the same women who get burned severely in the end when the husbands shrug and go "I'm bored, new woman I met is more exciting and the sex is better, I gotta put me first. Bye."? Too funny, it's almost sad.
The thing is though that children really aren't as smart as adults and are the products of their parents.So often a devoted wife/mother is treated terribly despite the husband/father being a scrote because no one ever really took the time to make sure the child sees reality. It's often why, for example, children go through a phase of resenting their mother and treating her badly during their teenage years while giving their father a pass (she made him like that, she drove him, off, etc.) but come to later realise that it was their father that was the problem. At least it's usually girls who realise. I haven't noticed the same pattern with boys.
His wife didn’t take the high road. The behaviour he describes is legally enforced. One of the first orders made in family court during a separation involving kids is a legal gag order that prevents either parent from saying anything negative about each other in front of the kids or online. The woman in this story legally had to hold her tongue and ensure visitation happened or she would’ve been punished in court.
^ just seconding bearfruit's point. women can't talk shit about their husbands even if they deserve it during/after divorce...they could lose access to their kids or get a more unfavorable settlement if they do
The mom would get accused of being the "crazy ex" pitting the kids against the dad if she doesn't try to convince them he's a good father and they should still talk to him.
Those kids are correct not to want to talk to him, and to choose their mom over their dad. I've been in their shoes. My dad cheating on my mom messed with my head so much. But the counsellor I was seeing for that still kept trying to convince me not to take sides, and just generally kept trying to "both sides" it. I knew in my gut that was bullshit. But then I thought I was crazy because according to other people I shouldn't feel the way I felt.
Nobody came right out and said my dad was the one in the wrong, or acknowledged it did affect me and wasn't just "none of my business". No, that would have been too honest.
Can you say what you would have wished for? I am not remotely in a position like this but I really wouldnt know what to tell my kids if I was the mom. I would want them to know the truth but I dont know if a child 12 - 14 y.o. can live with "your father just didnt love you enough". But its the truth, if he did, he would have prioritized you. And its implied anyways, children are smart enough to get that.
On the other hand when I realized my dad is a narcissist and cant feel empathy with anyone i took it pretty well. But I was also 20. I saw the signs since childhood that someting was off but idk if child me would have been able to handle and understand the truth...
Good question. I don't think it would have been helpful to be told my father didn't love me enough. No one told me that, and that's just as well.
I guess it's more... what I wish wasn't said to me - someone who was supposed to be a trained professional tried to get me to put some of the blame on my mom. That was so shitty. Being told to stay out of it wasn't helpful either. I was affected and thus involved whether I liked it or not!
When I got older I see this as part of a long history of psychiatry trying to make women compliant - calling women hysterical, saying women have wandering wombs, lobotomizing disobedient wives... in the 21st century it's not as extreme as that, now they're just trying to plant the idea that women have to carry at least some of the blame for men cheating.
That got me all confused then, but I call bullshit now 😆
I see that makes a lot of sense. I also never understood „dont get involved“ like what does that even mean when I am the child of the people breaking up…? Its very weird and an oddly popular solution
So apart from all the nonsense that this guy has selfishly inflicted on his family. this woman Ana proposed marriage to him? And he told her he was married?
i don't get it? I get having a crush on someone but proposing? Unless it was done as a joke or something.
Pure *chef's kiss* 👌 Ooh I want to read more, but I'm trying to stay out of that site and don't want to get sucked back in 😆
Unknown member
Nov 15, 2022
Replying to
Women don't even have to remain friends with scrotes for the sake of the kids. Just communicate with emails and only respond to questions about the children. She shouldn't allow him to enter her house. If he wants to see the kids he can pick them up outside the house. Most women make it too easy for scum like that.
Unknown member
Nov 13, 2022
I've read a post where a woman refuses to take a man back who left her behind for another woman half his age. He told her that other women aren't like her and even tried to kiss her to make her take him back. I'm glad she refuses until he gave up chasing her.
That's how every man should be treated but Men do this because they can get away with it much easier, Father absent? No problem his daughters have no backbone. Being left behind for a gold digger? No problem because most women fear of dying alone and give that type of men another chance.
No just No, When they walk away then they have disqualified themselves. And you should never look back.
The tragic thing is, if this sweet lady did take him back, the scrote would most likely do it again. SMDH
11
Unknown member
Nov 13, 2022
Replying to
Women should learn to never look back when a man-child walks away. They don't come back because they suddenly realize what they lost, They come back because their dream girl isn't that dreamy.
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I'm always disgusted that the betrayed mother is supposed to pretend her husband didn't betray the entire family and to make sure his children don't know what a scoundrel their father is. My mother would always say, "He loves you, but he just doesn't know how to express it." My father used to strip me naked and beat me with wooden dowels. I used to hide everything in the house that I thought he might hit me with. But I was always reassured that he loved me. Is it bit gaslighting to tell children their father loves them when he betrays their mother with another woman and LEAVES the entire family? How is that being a good father? The bar is so low for men being a good anything. A man can still be a good father when he cheats on his wife, but can a woman do the same and still be called a "good mother?" Hardly. If men have a problem with their actions being made open to their children perhaps they should think twice about their actions before doing it?
"Ana is free and happy. Social and high spirited. She took the office by storm. She was the opposite of my shy and calm wife."
As a shy/quiet person IRL, i will never understand the special hatred society has for shyer* women
*sorry, not sure if I spelled that right!😅
Oh man they're roasting him in the comments 😂. I called him a moron.
Your ex-wife looks more serene and happier because you never made her happy either, scrote. :)
That's the thick of it, I'm afraid. He really thought he was the only sad person in the universe and is envious of his ex-wife finding real happiness without him because he secretly wanted her to suffer forever. Like most men think when it comes to women in general; they're not happy unless us women are also as miserable as they are, and then they can rest easy. Typical male narcissism.
His ex-wife sounds like such a sweet woman, but I wish she didn't felt the need to take the high road and try to preserve his social image by never telling people (including the children) the real truth as to why they divorced. He deserves to have everything taken away from him. The house, the kids, the money, his reputation.
Isn't it funny how society tries so hard to groom women into becoming good women, the kind that are reserved yet nurturing and happy to get married by a certain age and have multiple children, yet these usually are the same women who get burned severely in the end when the husbands shrug and go "I'm bored, new woman I met is more exciting and the sex is better, I gotta put me first. Bye."? Too funny, it's almost sad.
One minute of silence for the pickme who wakes up every morning next to a man who's pretending that she's his ex wife whom he left for her 🤣🤣🤣
The mom would get accused of being the "crazy ex" pitting the kids against the dad if she doesn't try to convince them he's a good father and they should still talk to him.
Those kids are correct not to want to talk to him, and to choose their mom over their dad. I've been in their shoes. My dad cheating on my mom messed with my head so much. But the counsellor I was seeing for that still kept trying to convince me not to take sides, and just generally kept trying to "both sides" it. I knew in my gut that was bullshit. But then I thought I was crazy because according to other people I shouldn't feel the way I felt.
Nobody came right out and said my dad was the one in the wrong, or acknowledged it did affect me and wasn't just "none of my business". No, that would have been too honest.
So apart from all the nonsense that this guy has selfishly inflicted on his family. this woman Ana proposed marriage to him? And he told her he was married?
i don't get it? I get having a crush on someone but proposing? Unless it was done as a joke or something.
But damn Ana. Get some standards
The ex-wife was probably happy someone took him off her hands. She wasted no time. Good for her. Looking cute and moving on.
I love the comments on this thread honestly!
I've read a post where a woman refuses to take a man back who left her behind for another woman half his age. He told her that other women aren't like her and even tried to kiss her to make her take him back. I'm glad she refuses until he gave up chasing her.
That's how every man should be treated but Men do this because they can get away with it much easier, Father absent? No problem his daughters have no backbone. Being left behind for a gold digger? No problem because most women fear of dying alone and give that type of men another chance.
No just No, When they walk away then they have disqualified themselves. And you should never look back.
The tragic thing is, if this sweet lady did take him back, the scrote would most likely do it again. SMDH
I can't open it because I don't have the app, any chance someone can copy and paste?
Here is a follow up from the same guy.