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Scrote father telling me that I used to be able to control my weight so well in high school, eating celery, so why not now?

I try hard to ignore the shit I'm told from my dad about either religion, marriage, and weight, but it's really fucking challenging to be told that "You used to have so much control in high school. You would eat celery." I'm like I had to starve to fucking DEATH in high school not to gain weight, and I hated every minute of it. I couldn't help but bitch at him and he acted like I was "killing" him by saying "I don't understand why I'm being yelled at." Well duh - I'm in my mid-40s and he's saying that if only I could do what I did in my teens and everything would be just fine. And he wonders, "Why do you fight with me?!?!" Anyone worth their shit would almost want to get violent at things said to me like that. 😡

(Disclaimer: I do need to figure out what is going on with my weight - it's not good, but dammit fuck - - it's the "Why can't you do what you did, eating celery during high school" that really pisses me off. I'm not in high school)

I'm surprised women don't terminate their husbands. Men's behavior toward them is insufferable.

15 answers0 replies

Comments (15)

Millennialpink2k

Jun 23

Your dad is saying he misses how obedient you were, it's not about the food itself.

Of course he (and society) misses that girl you sacrficied herself to make everyone else happy. It's deranged proof of how far you've come. Doesn't make it easier to hear his comments, of course.

Unknown member

Jun 23

I'm so sorry OP. The things your father is saying to you are completely inappropriate things for a father to say to his daughter. They're also inaccurate. You can't live on just celery. He's basically encouraging you to be malnourished or have an eating disorder. Honestly, if he keeps making these kinds of comments and you're not financially dependent on him, I'd seriously consider cutting him out of your life.

hamburgerfries

Jun 23

Replying to

Long story short, unfortunately I'm still dependent on him but I also made poor choices in life that caused my dependency and I'm stuck in proverbial quicksand now 😢

Unknown member

Jun 23

Replying to

In that case, I suggest you do your best to ignore your father and not react to his comments. Don't even bother trying to argue with him because even that is giving him a reaction and he sounds like a misogynist who wouldn't even listen to anything a woman has to say anyway. I also suggest avoiding him as much as you can without being obvious about it. It might help you to look up terms like "grey rock" for tips on how to deal with abusive people. I also suggest you start trying to make plans (in secret) to become independent of him e.g. getting a job.

grrrkl

Jun 23

I assume many girls had a weird eating phase due to those bony beauty standards being displayed everywhere. I think that messed up many girls’ and women‘s self-perception. And I don‘t get it, what weird attraction leads the upper fashion men to come up with this?

Anyway, do you experience symtomps of hypothyroidism?

Edited

Annie

Jun 24

Replying to

Perimenopause? It can start earlier than you'd think!

hamburgerfries

Jun 24

Replying to

It might be. I don't want to sound melodramatic, sorry but it is very triggering to realize this. You didn't cause the trigger; it was there a long time ago. 😔

Annie

Jun 24

Replying to

Sorry - meant to reply to hamburgerfries!

I know! Looking back, I was mid-40s when mine started but I didn't realise that some of what I was experiencing were signs of perimenopause. It wasn't until the signs became too consistent to ignore that I asked some older friends and they confirmed it. Weight 'control' definitely became more of a challenge for me though at that time.

Edited

DianaPrince

Jun 24

Stop trying to talk with him. Period. You can't find logic when there's none because he sounds extremely abusive. Your best tactic now is grey rocking, google everything about it. I also recommend you check Dr. Ramani's youtube videos about narcissists and how to deal with them, she has great insight and tools.

So, from now on: grey rock, grey rock, grey rock. Talk about the weather, tv shows, neighbour's dog, whatever boring and mundane topics you can think of. Stop sharing any personal opinions or your deepest feelings. Remember that he gets ammo and pleasure from your reactions, so stay as boring as possible! When he starts triggering you, don't show him any feelings. "Uh huh", "right", "okay", one word replies. Heck, just lie and agree if you have to. This is a survival game now, not an adult father-daughter relationship. I wish you all the best, that's a tough position to be in. <3

DianaPrince

Jun 24

Replying to

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you find a good (or at least a tolerable) strategy to coexist with him. Also, two opposites can be true at the same time: he has done many good things for you AND he's also treating you badly. I wish you strength.

Edited

hamburgerfries

Jun 24

Replying to

The saddest thing for me is that the only way I can truly get any peace (from our discord that is) is for him to pass away. Things are probably not going to improve. Sometimes we're alright, but when it comes to sensitive topics like religion, marriage, and sometimes weight, forget it. 😶

He's "old enough" such that he doesn't have that much time left, but at the same time, since I'm already agonizing over the fact that I can't get my grandparents back, I don't want to do the same thing after my dad passes - yet, if he lives, I can't live either. I just have to wait...

Tisay.hapa

Jun 25

Replying to

You might be waiting years sis on his behalf. Narcissistic parents train you to put them first. Therapy will help with that brainwashing I'm so sorry. You are his child not his parent

This comment was deleted.

hamburgerfries

Jun 24

Replying to

I do take Prozac and I have noticed a change in my appearance (swelling, moon-face) about 6 months to a year into it. It does a great job for controlling the emotional havoc that PMDD wreaks upon me, but I'm hating what it's doing to my body.

Scrote father telling me that I used to be able to control my weight so well in high school, eating celery, so why not now?

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