Scared to stand up to scrotes, but I feel like I'd be "letting them win" if I don't.

Plenty of males love to get angry reactions from us. Take a deep breath and remind yourself not to feed into their anger bc they're not even worth the energy. I find looking bored, disinterested or acting like I didn't hear them works well enough anyhow. Throw in a faux yawn to seal the deal haha

I feel you. This is a constant dilemma for us.

If it is in a group that you have to be around (especially at work) stand up for yourself or others will get the idea that you are a doormat. Don't get angry, don't get wild. Just say something quick and exit. "Sure, that makes total sense..." and laugh while you walk away. Or, "I don't understand. Can you elaborate?" Only do this if you think you will not be retaliated against later.

But it is always in our best interest to just walk away. Men get that loud and clear and even a negative reaction makes these types happy, so give them nothing and remove yourself.

It's a trap to make us back peddle and waste the time to stick up for ourselves. It is their goal to put our backs up against a wall and make us feel like we need to "defend" ourselves. Show them you won't be playing that game and you don't need to defend your value or points.

You energy and presence is a currency to them. I get the urge to cuss them out, but most of them get off on you giving them your energy whether it's positive or negative

Most times it's best to ignore and move on. Maybe slightly give in if the guy is unhinged and you think he might get violent if you outright reject him

No matter what, do you feel is best to keep yourself safe. How he feels doesn't matter

i mean less women would be scared to stand up to them if men were actually emotionally stable and not kill women. Because they dont actually live in the same civilized world we do.

I get it. I had to change my mindset about men when they try to ruffle my feathers. By staying silent, you aren’t giving him what he wants. Which is a reaction. He’s already expended the energy to be a scrote to you and for nothing! Because you aren’t going to even lift an eyebrow or look in his direction!

Always remember, most men don’t like women, they are sexually attracted to women. Because of this, they’re either going to treat you very nicely, or very badly like the guys in your post. Dont give your precious energy to the scrotes. They haven’t earned it.

I do the same shit as with students. " could you elaborate?". Or " I am not having thus discussion".

This is a tough one, and it really depends on where you want to grow next.

I was a shrinker for decades. I felt violated by men’s stares, come-ons and public harassment, and would slink away, feeling dirty.

I discussed this in therapy, and for me it really helped to lay the blame at the feet of these rotten men. Eventually I began forcefully staring back at them, regarding them condescendingly, and making THEM shrink instead. It works.

But that’s just my journey. You may have a different internal struggle when dealing with gross men. Perhaps talk to someone wise about it and see if she has ideas for you. But whatever you do, in your heart - push the blame back on the man. None of this is about you.

Hugs.

I feel you here. I’m also introverted, and nervous about potential violence or retribution. When I don’t feel safe to fully speak my mind, I will still speak up and say something like, “Don’t make jokes about ____ around me please. I find them inappropriate.”

Other times I may simply not laugh at their joke, pull a grossed-out face, or roll my eyes and look incredibly bored by what they’re saying.

Nonverbal communication can go hard in situations like these, especially if you are not the only woman in the group or are otherwise a respected member of the group. There’s no need to explain yourself extensively either - just state your preference for not having things like that said in your presence, and if questioned on it, say that it’s inappropriate/rude/disrespectful/derogatory and you don’t appreciate hearing it from people whom you’d previously thought of as better than that.

This tells men that you DID think highly of them, and their words or action has lowered their value in your eyes. Any self-respecting man will not want to be seen as lesser than the men around him, or unworthy of female attention. Throwing in a good “I thought you were better than this,” along with a slightly-menacing stare, can go farther than spending 10min explaining yourself.

Protect your energy. Don't get worked up over a nobody. Even IF you could change his mind, what is his mind worth? Depends on your relationship, but it's probably not worth your time. And your time is literally your life.

I second other comments about handling it by each scenario. Ultimately the root of your tactics needs to be shame/humiliation. Men are very easily embarrassed when it comes to women (almost anything, but especially women).

Ignoring them, insulting them right back, acting like you're annoyed or judging them will all work in situations where they can't retaliate without facing severe consequences (basically anywhere there are other people present). But if you're alone with them, anything that can cause imminent fear--aiming a loaded gun at them, threats to sue, get them fired, calling police or anything that can REALLY hit them where it hurts, so their lives will be permanently effected for the worse or at least take a loooooong time to recover from--financially, legally, physically, professionally, is the route to take.

That is all men "respect" (submit to)--their ego and quality of life. Some examples I can provide that I've used in the past that have worked for me are:

--Being loud. Loudly say "Are you a virgin, sir? Because you're acting like one" when a man sexually harasses me in public. "Please don't touch me, sir, I don't know you." "Are you a pedophile?" (depending on how much older he looks) in public so he's embarrassed by everyone staring at him, now.

--Shoving my middle finger 1" from some creep's face right outside of the always-busy Starbucks in my neighborhood and yelling "Hey! You don't get to talk like that to women! Pervert!" when he thought I couldn't hear him say "beautiful little breasts" 'cause I had headphones on. Never saw his ass again.

--Calling my (ex) boyfriend a racial slur after I had repeatedly asked him not to keep calling me a sexual slur (I was already looking for another place to live to get away from him and was in survival mode, trying not be verbally abused every day). It worked. Never heard him call me a slur again during those last few months before I found a new place. Only time in my life I ever resorted to such a thing and a part of me died inside as soon as I said it.

--Saying "ok thanks/no thank you" to strange men who try to talk to me but I can't really hear or care about what they're saying and need to get going.

Remember, men don't fight fair, so why the fuck should we?