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I'm kinda embarrassed by what a pickme I was up until recently, but this might help someone so here goes. Basically this is to remind ladies (and my own damn self) to QUIT BEING SO NICE and BLOCK AND DELETE and here’s one reason why!
Backstory: Dated a dude in high school, we broke up, he graduated and we didn’t meet again for almost 2 decades, till last July. We dated for a month this time around, and he dumped me after we had sex. Stupidly I didn’t delete him and tried to be “friends” but he didn’t make any moves towards being friends when the sex stopped coming in.
A few months went by, then the other night out of the blue, he texted me at midnight to tell me “I work with someone you have a lot in common with, I think you’d get along” but my nice meter has run out, and, to my own surprise I told his scrote ass off. I just literally SAW RED! I blocked him on every social media platform he had access to me to. Wish I had done that long ago. I just figured he was either going to (1) set me up with another scrote who’d lie and then pump and dump or (2) the “friend” was actually him, slithering back after realizing I was as good as he was gonna get.
So I learned:
ALWAYS block and delete at the first transgression
Ex boyfriends from high school don’t change as much as you think they have
Quit being nice, scrotes see it as a weakness and will act accordingly.
I'm living and learning and I'm kinda proud of myself for the progress I've made. Let them die mad, ladies.
Highschool boyfriends absolutely play off the nostalgia and the “soulmate” BS to get us at our down times in adulthood. Good for you seeing through them and their balding, desperation ways.
Some people might say that you should have blocked and deleted without going through the trouble of telling him off ... but not me! Man oh man, telling assholes what you think of them feels great. Exhilarating, even. And, bonus, you might just ruin his day.
I met up with my high school boyfriend at age 38. I'd broken up with him at age 18, because my family didn't like him, so they forced me into military school across the country to get me away from him. After I left, he stopped working completely, quit school, and started just hanging out and playing basketball. I was FURIOUS because he's said he wanted to get married, yet I was working my arse off at military school whilst he f*cked off. So I wrote him a letter and ended things completely. When we started talking again at age 38, I had always wondered if I'd acted prematurely in ending things with him. But he filled my head full of "I love you," "we should get married," etc. bullshit when we met back up. I was honest with him and told him I'd broken my neck and that if he couldn't afford a wife then we should just be friends and leave it at that. After the 2nd time we met up, he just didn't contact me for a week and then went off on me for not calling or texting him. I called him and told him I didn't know that this was a relationship and that he'd never specified that we were back together. After this conversation, he ghosted me for 2 weeks and came back once again to which I replied, "Who's this?" He said, "It's Marcus! You know who this is." So I told him about my 2 week rule--any ma who goes 2 weeks without contacting me is automatically deleted. And I asked him, "Does that player shit actually work for you? Because it won't work on me." Thankfully, I didn't sleep with him, because he literally came back into my life to revenge fuck me. This is what males are like. They're not fully human. And the saddest thing for me is that he was the best relationship I've ever had. We seemed to be such good friends when we were young and had such a fun relationship playing basketball, volleyball, going to the lake, and just being together. It was the most loved I've ever felt, and it was all fake.
I love the 2-Week Rule!
What a good idea and a clear policy to help evade the murk of on-again, off-again entitled guys.
Love this for you! And 💯 agree. I definitely fell into the trap of being too nice and then getting taken advantage of. The only way to effectively deal with L/NVM is to block and delete everywhere.