Polyamory is called being single and gaslighting someone

I don't do polyamory. Can't even find one guy worth loving out here, where the hell am I gonna find three? No thanks.😂

In all seriousness, agreed. It's like our generation lost the ability to feel intimacy and emotional connection so we're filling the void with kinks, poly, porn, hookup culture... etc. Spoiler alert- it only makes things worse.

I do prefer cards on the table, if a man wants to sleep with multiple people at the same time, he just comes right out and say so before anything happens between us.

So I can nope out early. 🤣

That's the bright side of polyamory being a thing. I always try to look on the bright side. 😁

Sex positive is anti-intimacy….I hadn’t thought about it that way but it’s eye opening insight.

Sex-positivity is part of the misogynistic infiltration of feminism. Know how they use feminism as an excuse to try to take away all the "benefits" women might get out of being a woman in the patriarchy, like having dates paid for for example? They use feminism as an excuse to make it seem like theyll accept us if we are "empowered, liberated" "wh***s" do to speak, so they can use us sexually while degrading us behind pur backs and feeling justified looking down on us. Men have lost the ability to love generally speaking as they are misogynists and you cant love that which you hate, so they need the thrill of sleeping around to feel anything.

In my experiences, I often find that the men in those arrangements claim they are "people pleasers" and such givers... such as they have so much love to give that they need another or more partners. However, why is it when I interact with those men, I am often displeased and disappointed? I don't understand why they can't focus on keeping one woman happy.

100 percent. I’ve met two men I feel like really knew how to love. Both lost their fathers at a young age and I think it changed their perspective on life to Go through that. More sincere human beings. I don’t think a lot of people know what love looks like anymore. I keep my eyes out for one quality - sincerity- but it is not something you see too often and I feel the more sincere men hold back and observe more. meaning you then get all the guys who use flirtation for an ego boost or to have sex in your face.

It's been a while since anyone tried to try that s*** on me, but if anyone were to ever suggest "ethical nonmonogamy" I would literally say to their face "sorry, I'm not into polygamy, I'm not Mormon". No, I don't hate Mormons but it's definitely part of their history as well as excluding black people from their temples for well over 100 years. The Mormon church is absolutely a cult and they practiced polygamy for a very long time and fundamentalists even do it today. I'm not into polygamy.

I’ve noticed a huge uptick in profiles on dating sites where they brag about being “ethically non monogamous,” like really? You just convinced your wife to let you cheat with her permission, I don’t see anything ethical about that.

Polyamory can hypothetically work but only for a very tiny slice of the population and only in certain contexts, things like queer communes and weird theatre groups, the kinds of eccentric folks that already don't live like prescribed in many other spheres. Historically and as the name suggests, it used to involve group love, most if not all of the people involved were in love *with each other* and deeply committed to build the best for them, like a plural relationship. For that to work, besides the constant personal and interpersonal work to deal with jealousy and conflict, the people involved have to share attractions with their partners, which is why historically it has been tied to queer folks, it simply can't work in a straight context.

But *of course* scrotes appropriated it to push open relationships on unsuspecting monogamous partners and have no accountability at all. I can assure you 99.9999% of the cishet men who call themselves polyamorous today are just that: scrotes looking to get their dick wet, who haven't done work on themselves and aren't interested to, having a fantasy of building a harem of women loyal to them only, have their cake and eat it too. Pure trash.

I absolutely revel in stories where poor women were coerced into opening their relationship by scrotes but then end up finding someone much better and ditching them and the scrotes are so mad and call it cheating. LMAO. I feel for the pain these women had to go through but those stories are the most delicious schadenfreude.

I have YET to see a successful poly relationship. I do see a lot of partners coerced into it (usually so they don't lose the barfbag partner who wants to be poly).

Anti-intimacy is an excellent term for it. I'm going to use that.

It's all insane now, and really has driven me away from dating.

I'm monogamous. Always have, always will. I know me. I find it disrespectful and emotionally abusive when poly men send long winded paragraphs trying to force me. That's one of the many reasons I don't date anymore. And let me tell the world, you know who you are, you're selfishness and stupidity lost you one loyal woman for life. I'm so much happier and healthier without you.

If a man wants to be poly but doesn’t want the woman to be, that’s cheating. He can’t decide that she belongs to him. Dude knows she’s going to get more sex if she adopts his lifestyle.

I hate polyamory with a passion. I wish all poly people would just drop dead. It's all bullshit! These people lie to others and to themselves.

I've been in relationships with two different poly men. The first one said it was his girlfriend idea and he was always depressed and anxious because of her. She studied in a diferent city and they couldn't see each other frequently. He knew she was "making the most of it" there, whereas I was his first and only "extra" partner at the time. He always had arguments with her trough text. He told me there was no hierarchy, but he clearly loved her and just "liked" me. He clearly cared more about her. She was reall smart to keep him away and find other partners wherever she was. Had him at the palm of her hand.

I was so insecure, I thought he would be the only man to ever pay any attention to me, like he was my only chance. The sex was bad, the situationship was bad (yeah, taht's right: she was the girlfriend, but I wasn't!), I was depressed and being with him made things worse. I thought aut killing myself because of him. I lost my virginity to this asshole, but not after an episode that scarred me for life. I remember one day we were making out in his house and simply started to take my clothes off *without asking if I wantd to have sex or anything*. He just assumed I wanted it because I was there. Like, wtf???? It took me several minutes to be able to say "Stop, I don't want this" amidst my panic.

The second guy ommited from me the fact that he was poly when I told him I didn't want anything to do with poly men. He deliberately hid from me this information in order to have sex with me. Again, horrible sex. Again, we had nothing serious. How could I be so dumb? Of cooourse a man would deceive me to get sex. Why did I even expect him to say "Oh, you're monogamous and want nothing with poly men? What a shame, because I am poly... Guess I won't be fucking you tonight".

These people are dishonest and disgusting. Being promiscuous is not enough. They want to deceive people saying it's all about love. But they'll still have their primary partners, their favorite partners. And guess what? It's not going to be you. And if you complain, they say you're crazy, jealous, overreacting, nascisistic and so on...

It's allllways a couple where the dude comes up with the idea, pressures the girl into poly (hoping for threesomes with other women, of course) and completely freaks out when the woman starts seeing other men. It's even better when she leaves him for someone who is awesome and isn't into gaslighting and pressuring women. But generally it's a sign that either the relationship is on the rocks (at least one party is unhappy).

I couldn’t do it. Because if I was with someone else I would constantly think that I would fall for the other person. I tried to date while I still had feelings for someone else and I couldn’t. I do believe that you can not have strong feelings for more than one person.

Thank you! I completely understand. Dating can be so discouraging, I feel like the ideal situation is when you’re around someone and can observe them before dating so you’re less likely to step on ‘landmines’ in the dating scene. There are good hearted men who think for themselves, who are also self assured and attractive theres just a lot more sh*t in the sea than good fish so to speak. You’ll fine a good soul in time <3

It doesn't even "work for some people" the poly sub reddit is a cesspool of people complaining their partner broke the"rules" or asking for advice on how not to be jealous

I did polyamory as a result of what was essentially Stockholm syndrome in an emotionally neglectful/abusive relationship (as in it became the only possible option if I wanted to keep trying to make things work, I wanted to believe my relationship wasn't unsatisfactory at the time). Then I met someone better and got out of that toxic situation. Now I'm no longer poly.

Ya I am going to say polyamory is not a real thing it’s just a manifestation of narcissism and lack of empathy. I’ve made this point to others which is that we can all love multiple people and be attracted to multiple people. That’s why we date different people or have different crushes. We just honour and care enough about other people to treat someone special and dedicate ourselves to them. That’s what a relationship is mutually dedicating ourselves to another person so there is a sense of safety and stability. A ‘poly’ person Is someone who doesn’t give a damn about other people, creates an environment of competition and shows all involved that they are are NOT special; commodities.

Im really sorry you’ve encountered two of these animals. I would encourage anyone to make a *decision* that anything but a dedicated partner who is giving, considerate and protective of others wellbeing and feelings is abusive, toxic and harmful, and decide not to get involved with anyone unless they specifically show good character. Not charm, not flattery, good strong character. We need to choose partners for ourselves like we are picking them out for our daughters. If a man is attractive and makes us feel great but shows no sign of being a solid man who pursues win / win scenarios (rather than whatever benefits and titillates himself at any given moment) then he cannot be an option. any scenario where you are being made to feel competitive is manipulation and narcissism manifesting. You should feel safe.