The responses to this post blew me away. While OP got helpful, kind comments, many other commenters decided that OP:
-is hallucinating
-has CO poisoning
-has a brain tumor
-is an abuser who uses Reddit's help to prevent her victim from reaching out for help
-is nothing but a paranoid, overbearing wife
-is at fault for the marriage failing
I was slightly amused by all the people arguing that no one would be stupid enough to (accidentally) leave their secret phone's notification on, be caught cheating, etc. I guess that just goes to show people think they are a lot smarter than they truly are.
Red is OP, blue are several different commenters.
Jesus Christ, these replies! Hasn’t anyone ever heard that saying, the simplest explanation is usually the right one? Odds are, there is a cell phone in the house. Odds are, he is unfaithful. It’s amazing how quickly everyone wanted to make her into the abuser.
Ugh, just reading the replies had me gritting my teeth. She's not insane. She also admits it's a DV situation and she's working to get out, and they still dogpile on her.
Fuck people who don't take a woman's intuition seriously. May they roast on the coals of the bridges this woman will burn in her escape.
Amazing how complete strangers will come together for the united goal of gaslighting a woman on the internet. Reddit is trash.
Holy smokes the gaslighting in the replies is stressing me out.
This lady needs to leave and keep herself safe. Even if he isn't cheating (highly unlikely) her scrote of a husband is displaying shady behaviour, and all these comments have me convinced that these people are saying these things to validate their own scrote-y behaviour. Classic triangulation.
Women need to be careful, though. In family court I was given a "domestic violence screening" and one of the questions was "has your significant other ever demanded to see your phone?" Scrotes love to take little tiny infractions such as this (which are usually totally justified, as they ARE hiding something) and try to turn their beating us up into a "mutual altercation".
Instead of worrying so much about the phone, I'd leave. Yes, she said it wasn't as easy as it's a dv situation. But what is she gonna do if she actually finds the phone or he admits to having an affair? Her dv situation is still gonna be the same. Plus he'll probably lose it completely if confronted again.
She should save her energy and find a way to leave. No matter if theres a phone or not.
I don't know how to private message on reddit and I'm not really comfortable commenting on there either, but in case needed, there is an android app called "fing" which basically lets you scan your wifi and let's you see all of the devices connected to it. I don't know if the same app is in the iPhone store, but it's really useful. If there is a secret phone in the house that's hidden, it will at least be spotted by that app, as long as it's connected to the wifi that is. I've also dated and been with cheaters (and abusers) basically my whole life so i know how it feels. She's not crazy & I'm tired of people gaslighting women in situations like this.
“Omg she’s Amber Heard 2.0 an abuser insert turd joke hur hur reeeee!”
By god, but they are so very stupid. Painfully so.