OLD - Report

Ladies, strap in, for I have a delicious Scrotation Report for you.

I've recently downloaded a Language Exchange app, which is treated as a Tinder basically where I live. When I was bored, I was swiping right on men that looked interesting. As you can imagine, all of them turned out to be Scrotes.

Specimen A:

He was a cop. (🚩) He asked for my personal information and to meet too quickly (🚩). I tried to pace him and agreed to have a phone call prior to meeting him (thank God). However, as soon as I merely suggested a phone call, he tried to call me immediately (???) 🚩🚩🚩. So I told him to call me "on the evening of day X". Once the day approached, he hasn't texted a single letter and instead tried to call me without prior warning again (🚩)! I ignored it, hoping that he'd text me first before trying to call again (🤡), but he didn't. Instead, he tried to call me three (!!!) other times that night before I finally blocked him. He also had the audacity to ask me if he did anything wrong on the app we originally met before I blocked him there for good, too. 🤡

Specimen B:

Moving on... The next guy I matched with seemed a bit more "normal", however immediately after we moved to another app to chat, he asked me for more pictures. I asked him if the ones on the app weren't enough (I have three almost full-body pictures as opposed to one shitty, half-cropped, blurry picture most guys have) and he claimed that he cannot see them (🙄). So I asked him to send me some pictures of him first. MF then proceeds to create an album named "This is [insert his name]" where he puts about 20+ pictures of himself from different angles 😂😂😂. Needless to say, I blocked and deleted.

Specimen C:

The final specimen looked a bit more promising than the previous two scrotes. He was able to hold a conversation without too much effort and didn't look too bad (the bar is in Hell, I know), so we scheduled to have a phone call tonight at 8 PM. 8:05 rolls in so I remind him that I'm ready (🚩), 10 minutes later and he asks me for another 5 minutes (???). It was at this point I started making this post 😂.

However, I caved in, we had a phone call anyway, and, as you can expect, it was a red flag after a red flag. He lives in a sharehouse (in your thirties??? Sir). Is a tech bro (🙄) and works as a bartender on the weekends. I asked him what he did today and he said he was "working from home". So MF is at home and doesn't have the time to join the phone call on time? Please 😂

Well, anyway, needless to say, I'll be deleting this app as it's been a Scrote after Scrote. I don't think that anyone even uses it as intended, you know, - language exchange - because even the interface is built as a dating app. (As in, you mostly see profile pics of the users, their age and gender, and you can swipe on them as on Tinder). Well, it was an interesting experience, to say the least, and here's to a Scrote-Free 2023!!! 🎉🥳🍾👏

TL;DR: Always have a phone call before meeting a stranger irl. Might not even get to meet him in the end because he turns out to be a Scrote :)